


True to yourself

by Just_Another_Fanaddict



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: AvaLance, F/F, High School, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Acceptance, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-09 17:05:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 40,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13485945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_Another_Fanaddict/pseuds/Just_Another_Fanaddict
Summary: Same school, two different worlds. Who doesn't want to be Sara Lance, the most popular girl in Starling City High School? Wherever she goes boys and girls can't help but look at her. Teachers don't like her however because she doesn't take their classes seriously.No one notices Ava Sharpe when she walks in. She is a nerd after all. Ava ignored their mockery, she is too focused on her studies anyway. She doesn't need 'fame'.And then those two worlds collide.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I don't know where this is going, I just want to write about these two :D is there a chance they'll become canon? Hope so.
> 
> Anyway it's my first high school AU :) I like the idea of self-acceptance topic because it's something I'm still dealing with.

"At this point, I'm not even disappointed Ms Lance." The teacher said loudly so everyone could hear. But Sara didn't care. She had failed the test, but she didn't care. "Why do you bother come to my class? You're clearly wasting your time. And mine."

"Is it your way to tell me I'm allowed to go?" Sara answered with an arogant tone.

"It is indeed." The teacher nodded. "I find it more interesting to teach students who want to learn. Which is not your case, am I wrong?"

"Nope." The teenager got up and headed to the door. But she stopped before she exited the room."Just so you know, I'm not the only student here who's not interested in your class, it's just impossibly boring."

"Get. Out. And if anyone wants to do the same, they're free to go." But no one left their chair and Sara rolled her eyes.

 

______

 

Here she was again, in the detention room. She always ended up here. Not that she enjoyed it, far from it. But classes are worse. She wasn't interested in math or english or anything else, except for sport. She liked history too, but in her own way. She liked reading History books, adventures including real events which had happened in the past, but somehow she didn't like the history class either. She didn't want to be forced to learn a part of History. It was a passion not an obligation. The teacher, Mr Darhk, didn't help. Like she once told him, he was 'a pain in the ass'.

"Why did you do this time?" The man who was supposed to watch her asked with a sigh.

No answer. Why would she give him one? He didn't give a damn.

"You know it's a matter of time before you get expelled from this school, right? The reason why you're still here is your dad. Who would have thought a great detective like him could have a daughter who can't follow the rules?"

"Oh don't worry about my dad, he already has a good daughter." Sara groaned.

The man simply rolled his eyes. He had given up long ago anyway. It wasn't really his problem. Sara will probably be in trouble when her father knows about this, but she deserved it. After all she was always looking for trouble.

 

________

 

What was this girl's problem seriously ? Was it so difficult to stay still for an hour and just listen to the teacher? Okay it could boring sometimes but it was important nonetheless. This Sara is a total idiot. All she thinks about is having fun with her friends. Having fun for Sara Lance meant doing dumb things like tag the walls.

Sara Lance was the popular girl, the kind of girl Ava would never become. Could never become. Not that she wanted to. Popularity was useless to build a future. No, what was important was good grades. She worked very hard for it. She worked very hard so she could one day become a federal agent.

That's why she was in the Nerd Category. She didn't like it of course, people looked at her with mocking smiles, but it was just temporary so she was okay with it. Next year she will go to college and things are going to get better.

 

_____

 

"Breath in, breath out." Ava said to herself as she entered the girl's toilets. She was panicked because she felt like she wasn't ready for the test. She had only read her lesson twice yesterday. She was tired and before she knew it she was asleep. "Okay, it's gonna be okay. Don't freak out."

It's only when she actually stopped talking to breath that she heard a sound. Someone was here. That someone was crying.

Ava finally noticed Sara, sitting against the wall. She looked desperate. Sara is usually mean to people she likes call nerd and the fact that she didn't say anything to her meant something. Something was definitely wrong with her. Sara didn't even try to hide her tears from Ava, and Ava knew Sara hated to feel exposed.

Ava didn't know what to do. She wasn't used to comfort people. She wasn't used to people at all. And it was not just someone, it was Sara Lance. Was she supposed to say something or just leave? Was she supposed to talk to her?

"Hey" Ava finally said hesitantly. "What's wrong?"

Sara didn't answer. Of course she didn't, why would she talk to someone like Ava? She probably didn't even know they have met before. So she chose to leave instead. But Sara finally opened her mouth before Ava could reach the door.

"I want to leave this place."

"If you want to leave so bad why don't you do it? You always do what you want."

Sara laughed ironically.

"You don't get it. I want to leave." She insisted on the last word.

It took a few seconds for Ava to understand the meaning of it. To say that she was surprised was an understatement.

"What?! But why?!" 

"I don't know why I'm telling you this. You can't understand."

"No I don't. What is so wrong in your life that can make you think of such a stupid decision? I mean, you have everything."

"You think I have everything?" Sara spat, even if deep down she knew she shouldn't act like this with the girl who's trying to be nice. A girl who had absolutly no reason to be nice with her.

"Okay maybe not everything but every girl here wants to be like you."

"That's because they don't know me. If I had the choice, I wouldn't be me." Sara whispered.

"Seriously? I would gladly take your place." Ava admitted.

"Don't be ridiculous, you are one of those people who are meant to succeed. You are good at everything. When was the last time you failed a test? Never. Think about it and you'll see there is nothing interesting about me."

"There is. I kind of admire you."

"Oh come on you don't have lie. You're the one here who deserved to be admired." Sara never thought she would admit she was jealous of people like her.

"Wrong. You have confidence, something I'll never have. And you're so damn bold." Ava smiled and soon Sara imitated her. "Your beaty makes a lot of girl jealous, don't pretend you don't know that."

"Yeah, maybe." Sara shrugged, her smile never leaving her face.

Then Ava held out her hand to the blond. "My name is -"

"I know who you are Ava." She stood up and shook her hand.

Ava frozed. Sara Lance knew her name. She had never thought it would be possible. But not as impossible as finding her in the toilets completely desperate.


	2. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's me again :) since the chapters are short it won't take long to post them. For now at least.

Ava. This girl, why had she even talked to her? She should have just ignored Sara, like Sara has always ignored people like her. Yet she had stayed with her, talked to her, reassured her. She even said she admired her. Though Ava was not the first person to tell her this, it was the first time she actually believed it. Because Ava wasn't talking about her position, she talked about what makes her her.  
That's why when she looked at herself in the mirror this morning she didn't feel bad. Not good, but not bad. Maybe she was worth it after all.

 

x

 

At lunch Sara and her friends were laughing loudly when they entered the cafeteria because Mick had stated that 'the professor Stein is just so dumb'. Sara usually laughed at these comments, but not today. Not anymore. She realized now how childish it was. Since her conversation with Ava she wanted to grow up. This girl made her understand she wasn't a lost cause. Maybe one day her father would even be proud of her.

The same Mick spilled someone's drink on purpose and they laughed even louder if it was possible. Everyone in the room laughed along them. Not because they found it funny but because it was Mick and his team. Because it was necessary to seem cool.

Sara cursed in her head. Why did this someone have to be Ava ?

When their eyes met Sara felt worse than ever before. A part of her wanted to help her, pick up her drink and give it back to her. But the other part of her stopped her because of her reputation and she hated herself for that.

Ava saw the struggle in Sara's eyes. She saw her mouth a "sorry", yet she didn't move.

 

x

 

She should have done something, Sara told herself. But what? Anything. Ava didn't deserve it, not after what she had done for her. Ava wasn't aware how much their conversation made her feel better. But the blond did nothing in return. Which meant Ava had been wrong about her when she'd said she was someone good. She was not. Ava was and yet she was the one people made fun of. Why? Because she was a hard worker.

'This world is so fucked up.' Sara groaned.

 

x

 

"Mick you didn't have to do that." Sara told him before their last class. It wouldn't change anything. It was to late to show her disapproval, but it was a start.

"Oh come on, it was funny. The look on her face was hilarious."

"No it was not !"

"What's your problem? Chill out, blondie."

"I know what can help you chill." Zari intervened with a smile and took a pill from her pocket. Sara had never said no to this. These pills made her problems go away for a while. Made her forget how much of a failure she was. But no, she owed it to Ava to become someone better. It was like a promise, even if Ava wasn't aware of it.

"I can't. I took a medicine this morning, it could be dangerous."

"Something is wrong with you today Sara. Do you have your period or something?"

"Shut up."

"Okay guys calm down. Still up for that party tonight Sara?"

"Of course." The blonde answered with a shrug.

 

x

 

Sara knew Ava wouldn't be at the party and it was probably for the best. Yet she was still a little bit disappointed. But the stupid idiots here would just laugh at her. They don't know how hurtful they can be. Well they do know, they just don't care as long as it didn't hurt them.

"Seriously Sara ?!" Julia asked her. "You love parties, why are you sitting here alone. Come on have fun. Take a beer. See that hot guy over there? He's looking at you like he wants to eat you. You know what it means; you have a great night ahead of you, you lucky bitch." She bumped her shoulder.

"I'm not in the mood for getting drunk. Or sex." Sara shrugged.

"Okay what's bothering you? You've been weird all day."

Sara needed to get out of here. Away from these people. That doesn't mean she wanted to be alone. She wanted to talk to the person who could make her feel less dirty. But the reason why she felt dirty today was because she had betrayed that same person.

She tapped Ava Sharpe on Facebook and sent her a message, hoping she would see it soon.

'Hey Ava. Sorry for earlier. Can we talk?'

 

x

 

Why did Sara send her a message? Were they friends now? Didn't look like it during lunch, even though she didn't laugh.

'Sure.'

Before she knew it Sara was calling her. Was it really that urgent?

"Hello." Sara said hesitantly. Something that wasn't like her.

"Hello." Ava answered still a little confused.

"How are you?" She really wanted to know how she felt after today. "I'm so sorry for what happened."

"It's okay, it's not like it's the first time."

"It's not okay! Especially if it's not the first time. Mick is an asshole."

"Did you figured out on your own?"

Sara was glad to notice Ava wasn't mad at her. She could hear her smile through the phone.

"Shut up smartass." She replied playfully.

"So what do you want?"

"Talk."

"Talk? About what?"

"Well first of all I didn't thank you properly for what you said to me yesterday. It meant a lot."

"It was nothing Sara." A few days ago she wouldn't have dared to say her name but now it was different. And Sara called her in the first place.

"It was something." Sara protested. "Are you home? I... I'd kind of prefer talk to you face to face." She admited.

After a few seconds Ava finally answered.

"Is it a prank or something?" The small happiness that had slowly grown disappeared.

"What?! Of course not!" But Sara knew she had no right to be offended, she deserved this lack of trust. "Okay you know what, tell me a place, I'll go but you won't have to. Your choice to come or not."

"Libarary."

"Oh come on your choice sucks" Sara groaned. "We can't talk in a library."

"So you did go to a library before." Ava teased.

"Did you just trick me?"

"No, I was talking about outside of the library. I like to go there sometimes when something's on my mind."

"Does it mean my chances to see you there are increasing?" The blonde asked excitedly.

"Don't know." But again her smile didn't go unnoticed even when she couldn't see her.

"Okay. ' _Maybe'_ see you later then."

"Maybe."

Ava didn't know why she felt happy like that. Okay maybe she knew. No one ever asked her to go somewhere with them. It was more than that, Sara wanted to see her. She had insisted.  
But like she had told her she couldn't be a hundred pourcent sure it wasn't a prank. Especially after today. Maybe Sara had shown a softer side in the toilets, and she had also shown guilt at lunch, but she was still following her friends.

 

x

 

With a big smile on her face Sara bought two orange juice cans. She didn't know what Ava's preferences were, but everyone like orange juice.

She sat on the bench in front of the library. Ava was right, it was nice and calm here. She didn't expect to see such a beautiful garden. She hadn't expected the library to have a garden in the first place.

This day had sucked since noon. The incident with Ava, her friends being annoying, as annoying as the party. But now something good was finally going to happen.

Sara had decided to change, to be better and she needed Ava for it, to show her how to do it. But above all she needed Ava to show her everything was not wrong in her, like she had done the previous day.

She was glad to see she had a message from her on Facebook. She was glad until she read it.

'Sorry can't make it. Maybe next time.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can't blame Ava for not going. Trust is something you need to earn ;) but feel free to blame the bullies though
> 
> I hope it was good enough for you. Don't worry, Avalance is going to be endgame.
> 
> xo


	3. Lost and found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expected this chapter to be this long but I guess I didn't have the choice because this is were Avalance begins. Too soon to be romantic, even though Sara doesn't realize she is totally falling for Ava.

"SARA!! You'll be late if you don't get up now!" Her father shouted from the kitchen. He didn't sound pleased. Less than usual at least, because he was never pleased with Sara. Thankfully he had her sister Laurel, he couldn't be more proud of her. She was everything he wanted; she never complies to whatever he says, she always does what he wants her to do and most importantly she chose to become a lawyer, which was another thing that made him proud of her.   
Sara, it was something else. She didn't always listen to him and she didn't aspire to have a great career. How could she with her awful grades? Her future job would not be interesting.

When she walked in the kitchen he glared at her and handed her a letter.

"Do you want me to say congratulations? Well okay, congratulations. It is the result of so much efforts, after all you've been working on this for what? Two years?" He had never been so mad at her.   
She pretended it didn't hurt her but it surely did. Each time her father talked to her like that she felt a little bit more worthless. This morning it wasn't just a little bit more. "God what did I   
do to deserve that." He rolled his eyes.

She left the kitchen right away. She wasn't hungry anyway. Only when she was out of sigh did she started to cry. She held onto Ava's words, she was not worthless. She wasn't sure she had everything she needed in her schoolbag but right now she wanted to be as far away as possible from home. So she simply took it and left the house. She had never really liked home, where she lived in the shadow of her big sister. She had enough time ahead of her to go to school on foot. It helped to clear her head. She didn't want to go to school. The only thing that made it bearable was her friends. They were the only persons she talked to. That's why she became like them. It had not bothered her at first, but the more she acted like a brat the more her family became distant.  
That's how she ended up feeling worthless. The walls she had built were crumbling piece by piece.

She thought about skipping school, walk all day and get back home. Or not going back home at all. She was about to walk away from the building but stopped when she saw Ava. She was sad about yesterday, she'd really wanted her to come, but she understood. Ava was too good to waste her time with Sara anyway.

She watched her from afar. She wanted to go talk to her and say hello, but last night proved she didn't want to talk to her. Or at least she didn't trust her, which was probably worse.

She wouldn't spend the day away from school, she decided it wasn't a good idea to be alone with her thoughts. Her lips curled up as she followed Ava with her eyes. Her tied hair gave her a serious look and for some reason Sara liked it. She felt like she could like anything. And she wanted to see Ava's long hair falling over her shoulder. She wanted to see Ava relaxed and smiling. Sara was lost in her list of Ava's potential haircut when she saw someone laugh at her, soon followed by a bunch of idiots. She had promised her father to never fight again, but right now her fists craved for contact and her ears craved for their scream of pain.  
But before she could reach the crime scene Ava was already gone. How could she be so strong? She was going through a lot of mockery yet she didn't care. How couldn't she not care? She just kept   
living her life as if it was nohing.

She had to admit, she was the most impressive girl she's ever met. She wished she was more like Ava. It was not the first time this thought crossed Sara's mind. Lately, Ava herself crossed her mind. A lot. Always? Anyway.  
Because of these jerks Sara had lost sigh of Ava. It took her all her will power not to punch them. And she would have succeeded if that same boy that had previously laughed at Ava hadn't whistled   
while looking at her ass.  
Maybe he just didn't expect it, but he lost his balance and fell. A whine escaped his lips and this time he was the one people laughed at. Troubles were coming, but it was so damn worth it. She   
felt incredibly relieved.

x

Why? Why did people have to act like this? It not like she did anything to them. Why couldn't they leave her alone. Just for a day. Damn even for a minute.   
They should have better things to do, like study for example. She couldn't wait for college. Far from this stupid school full of stupid students. She hated it here. The worst part? Her mother blaming her for not having friends. She didn't understand that here it was hard to have both friends and good grades.  
At least her mom wasn't always on her back.  
The first class started in five minutes, she had to leave the toilets now.

She saw Sara in the hallway. No sign of her friends, she was alone and completely lost in her thoughts. Something wrong wit them? Maybe it was because of the previous night. Maybe they blamed Sara for not being convinving enough with her. Or maybe she hadn't lie and she really wanted to talk to her, which her friends didn't approve. It wasn't her problem, she didn't need to know why Sara was on her own this morning. But she still wondered what Sara had wanted to talk about. Maybe if she just asked her. No she couldn't do that. It was too late now. Sara Lance doesn't give you another chance to talk to her.

Ava regretted her decision now. Not because she suddenly trusted Sara, but because there was a small chance Sara actually cared about her. Being friend with someone like Sara was not something she dared to dream of. They were too different: Sara was careless, Ava was attentive, Sara was bold, Ava was shy, and unlike Ava, Sara could easily make friends.

One last glance at the blonde and she headed to her classroom.

x

Lunch. It may seemed ridiculous but Ava had dreaded this moment. And she was afraid she would always do after what had happened the previous day. She had two options; go in the cafeteria and face whatever was going to happen, or skip lunch and ignore her empty stomach. After a few minutes of reflection, she finally decided to eat. Like her mother had always told her, it was necessary to have a full stomach to study.

She couldn't deny her heart started to race when she entered the cafeteria. Her fear intensified when someone grabbed her arm firmly.

"Hey Ava," Sara started but stopped when she saw Ava's expression. "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't want to scare you."

"It's okay, I was just surprised." Ava replied nervously. She wasn't comfortable around her because she'd refused her invitation. She hoped Sara wasn't here to make her pay for it.

"Good. So huh... I was wondering, do you want to eat somewhere else? It's on me." The blonde asked with a wide grin.

"Sure."

"I promise it's not a prank. Just you and me. Hmm maybe you'll be on a date and you won't even know it."

It was a silly joke. Ava didn't know whether it was Sara's face or the joke in itself but she laughed. She didn't remember the last time she had laughed here at school.

"I like that sound." Sara said softly.

"What sound?"

"Your laugh. Never had the occasion to hear it before. So is it a yes?"

"Yes. Let's go to that date."

"Wow are you flirting with me Ava?" The blonde pretended to be surprised.

"Nope, you are." Ava didn't know, didn't understand why all of a sudden she felt at ease.

x

Ava had agreed to come with her. Sara almost didn't believe it. She'd played it cool when she'd asked Ava, but the truth was the confidence she'd shown was just an illusion. An illusion that had been efficient.

"So where to you want to go?" Sara asked.

"I don't know, it was your idea."

"Fast food?"

"Well, I've always been told not to go there. The food isn't really... healthy."

"Are you telling me you've never been to a fast food?! Okay fast food it is then. Fear not, I won't tell anyone you broke the rule."

"Okay."

"There's one not far from here, I'm sure you'll like it."

And she did. Ava was convinced the moment she entered the fast food. It wasn't what she'd expected it to be. She had expected tables and chairs, but there was no chair at the horizon, only sofas which looked very comfortable. It was welcoming.

"Not bad, huh?" Sara grinned proudly.

"Not bad." Ava approved.

"Let's go upstairs, it has a better view on the street." The blonde let her to a table near the window. "So what do you want to eat?" Wait, have you ever eaten a burger before?" She raised an eyebrow. "I get it you only eat healthy food, except today, but it can be healthy when it's homemade."

"Well, you're the one and only who'll see me eat my first burger."

"Oh God."

"Hey, you should feel flattered." Ava laughed.

"Yeah right." Sara rolled her eyes playfully. "Look at the menu instead of being silly. I already know what I'm going to order."

"Choose for me."

"This, Ms Sharpe, is a risky move."

"I know."

"Let's see... Do you like bacon?"

"Who doesn't like bacon?"

"My dad doesn't like bacon. And guess what, Mick is allergic to bacon. Put some in his food if you have the chance." Sara winked at a confused Ava.

"Bacon it is then. Anti-Mick food sounds good."

"Anti-Mick food?" Sara couldn't help but laugh. "What a great way to put it. Wait here, I'll get our orders."

"Okay."

Sara left the table with a satisfied smile. She'll have an hour with Ava, away from bullies. She hoped Ava would feel comfortable enough to open up herself to her.

She came back two minutes later and found Ava looking through the window, a smile on her face and Sara couldn't be happier. It was a good sign.

"There's no way you won't like it."

"We'll see. So, why did you bring me here? No wait, first I have to apologize for last night."

"No you don't, I do. I brought you here to say sorry for not giving you a reason to come to the library yesterday. And I still want to talk to you. I don't know why but it feels easier to talk to you about things I try to keep inside. Maybe it's because you saw me crying like a baby and didn't run away the other day. You have no idea how much I needed your words."

"I think I do, you looked totally depressed and you even thought about 'leaving' to quote you. You look better now."

"I'm still struggling with myself you know." Sara shrugged and for the first time she lost her bright smile. "So I thought I could talk to you when I feel bad. If it doesn't bother you of course."

"No it doesn't, especially if lunch is on you each time you need to talk."

"So you officially agree to be stuck with me and my problems?"

"Don't make it sounds like we're getting married." Ava teased.

"Very funny." Sara rolled her eyes but her happy face was back. "Thank you. I made a list to help me become better." She handed her a small piece of paper.

"Let's see; stand for myself and for what I like, stop being a bitch, wow very poetic,"

"Shut up."

"Stop being selfish, stop getting into fights unless it's necessary, be like Ava Sharpe. What? Be like me? Why would you want to be like me? I mean, okay you said I am one of those who are meant to succeed but there is no such thing. Success is the result of hard work."

"I know, which means be like Ava is be smart, hard worker and tough. It totally needs to be on my list."

"Tough?" Ava asked as she raised an eyebrow. She could understand smart and hard worker, but definitely not tough.

"Tough, strong, whatever you want to call it. You have to be incredibly strong to endure being bullied like you do. I saw you this morning and I asked myself how could you possibly stay calm as if it was something easy to ignore. I wanted to commit suicide because I hate my life but you go through so much more. I hope I'll be strong like you one day."

Ava was taken aback. She hadn't expected this at all.

"I... I'm not as strong as you think. Actually I'm totally weak." She lowered her head but she couldn't fool Sara; she was crying.

"What?!" As much as the blonde was shocked, her body moved on its own and went to Ava's side. She wrapped her arms around her tighly. She didn't know if she was overstepping their boundaries   
that were yet to define, she didn't know if Ava was okay with it but she held her anyway.

"I -" Ava tried to speak but Sara interrupted her.

"Shh, let it out. I know what it's like to keep it inside, it's killing you. Take your time and cry okay? You'll feel better." She didn't let her go and finally felt Ava's muscles relax.

After a while Ava finally spoke.

"Like you say, I keep it inside. I try to burry the pain deep inside but it's never deep enough. So no I'm not strong, when I'm alone at home I am nothing but weakness. Every word they told me rings in my head at night and I cry a lot . Still want to be like me?"

"More than ever. From my point of view, you're still strong. I needed you to see something good in me, I think it's time for me to return the favor. We could both help each other, like friends do, what do you think?"

"Friends? I don't even know what it's like." There was irony in Ava's voice.

"Now you do. And I think I just learnt the meaning of it too. I've never shared my life with anyone. It was always, let's do this or let's do that, but it was never about sharing my problems. Believe it or not, you are the one who knows the most about me. No one knows I wanted to commit suicide or that I feel like I mess up everything in my life."

"Alright, friend."

"Give me your number so we can call each other when we need to talk."

"Okay. We can also talk between classes, right?"

"Yeah about that..." When she paused Ava was scared that nothing had changed and Sara would act as if she didn't like her when she is with her friends. Like Sara doesn't want to be seen with her.

"Am I your friend just outside of school?"

"What? No of course not! It's just..." She took another piece of paper in her pocket. It was not a list this time, it was a letter. "It's my last week here, they've had enough of me. It shouldn't bother me because I don't give a damn about this school, but I don't know I'm still going to miss it."

"You are expelled?!"

"I guess it sounds weird to you." Sara joked but Ava noticed the sadness in her voice. "But I still want to hang out with you."

"Me too." The truth was Ava was disappointed. She had finally found someone in her school to talk to but she was already leaving.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Sara already separated, I know it sucks but I'm not sorry :p I'm waiting for your comments (kudos works too) it helps to find the motivation to write.
> 
> See you next chapter :D


	4. Step by step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me longer than I thought but here it is. Like always I hope you'll like it.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who leaves comments and kudos, it means the world to me ^^

"Is there a problem Ms Sharpe?" The school supervisor asked Ava as she entered the CPE office. There was always a good reason for Ava to be here. The first time she came here was because the teachers wanted to congratulate her. Because she was the kind of student every teacher wanted to have. She'd never came here on her own.

"No. I mean yes." She corrected herself. There was indeed a problem. "I've heard there is a student that is going to leave the school, Sara Lance."

"She is. Our school has a reputation to keep and Sara Lance is not who we expect her to be. We've warned her a few times, she didn't take it seriously."

"Give her another chance." Ava said, surprising the man in the room. "I know you probably won't believe it but she's willing to change."

"Excuse me?" For a second he thought it was a joke, but Ava doesn't make this kind of joke.

"Give her a chance to stay here. I talked to her earlier, she said she wants to do better. I can help her with her lessons. What do you think? I am sure I can make her improve her grades." She was almost pleading now.

"Why do you care? It's not like it's your problem. Like I said she had it coming. Our school doesn't need someone like Sara Lance, all she does is messing around."

"I care because she has a potential she isn't aware of. Give me a month. I promise I can do it."

"Two weeks. After those two weeks she'll have a test to prove her determination to stay here. The only reason why I give it a try is because you ask me. Just so we're clear, I doubt she can do it. In fact I know she can't do it. What I don't know however is what you have in mind. Even you can't do anything to help her. She doesn't deserve that chance."

It almost broke her heart to see how little faith he had in Sara. Why wouldn't she be able to succeed? Ava understood now why Sara was feeling like a failure; the supervisor himself said she was one, which wasn't true. No one was.

"I'll take the risk. Unlike you I know she can do it. And even if she fails at least she would have tried, which is until now something she didn't do."

"Fine, fine, you're quite convincing. But are you sure she's going to work hard enough?"

"I'll make sure she does."

x

Ava couldn't wait to tell Sara she wasn't expelled. They're willing to give it a shot. It pained her that he agreed only because Ava was a good student. It meant if any other student would have asked he wouldn't have considered the deal. She wouldn't tell Sara about this, the last thing she needed was to know the teachers didn't think she was capable of anything. But Ava did. Actually she didn't think, she knew. She knew because she had the most important quality required: will power. It was all she needed. This and someone to tell her she could do it and Ava would definitely be that someone.

**'I hope you didn't plan anything for next week'** Ava textet her and was surprised to receive an answer less than five seconds later.

**'You may be stuck here for the next two weeks ;)'**

**'What do you mean?'**

**'I talked to the supervisor they're willing to give you a chance to stay'**

**'He hates me what did you do??! If you weren't you I would have thought you use your charm. Wait, did you use your charm? Gross'**

**'Seriously? -_-'**

**'What? It could work :p'**

**'Idiot'**

Sara wasn't here to saw Ava blush. Sara had just said she was beautiful. No one ever said that. The mirror says so to begin with so how could people find her attractive? But Sara said she was.

**'As if you didn't know. See you after school? :D My last class ends at 3 p.m.'**

**'Sorry mine ends at 5 p.m.'**

**'I'll wait ;) sorry I have to go, see you <3'**

Her brain stopped as she saw the heart. She didn't know whether it meant something or not, but it surely did something inside her.

Like she'd said Sara was here, waiting. She was sitting against a tree and guess what? She was reading a book. Not just a book; a textbook.

"Wow, that's a first." Ava teased.

"Actually no it's not. I've already done it. Once." She said playfully. "Now tell me exactly what you said to the supervisor. Is it some voodoo curse? Oh my good did you threat his family? Who would have thought you were so dangerous. That's amazing Ava."

"Sorry to interrupt your fantasies but we just talked."

"That's not funny, I'll stick to my version of the story in which you're a psychopath."

"Whatever," Ava rolled her eyes, "It was easy to convince him, he has nothing to lose. In the worst scenario you get expelled again. Why would he say no?"

"I told you, he doesn't like me. It was a chance for him not to see me again. I'm sure he doesn't want me to be good enough to stay."

"So what? Don't give him what he wants. Stay."

"I'll do my best. I don't even know where to start though, I don't understant this shit." Sara threw the textbook away.

"That's why I'm here for, to make you understand 'this shit'."

"No offense but it sounds awefully bad in your mouth." The blonde grinned. "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, I'd love to but at some point it'll probably drive me nuts and I don't want to call you things I don't mean."

"If that's what it takes then call me whatever you want."

"Okay. I guess I can't do it without you anyway."

"You could, but it's easier if I help you. And you're right, you'll probably hate me the next two weeks. It starts tomorrow."

"HA! I knew it! You're a psychopath! But I can take it, I'll be ready."

x

Ava sat on her bed. What a day. Someone finally considered her a friend. Not just someone; Sara Lance. The Sara Lance most of the boys desired. The Sara Lance every girl wanted to be. But not the Sara Lance Ava had ever imagined she was. Though it was true Sara had a lot of qualities Ava wanted, there are parts of her she never liked. Because the Sara Lance she had imagined could be cold and heartless. But now that she thought about it, Sara had never bullied anyone. Her crew did, multiple times, but Sara was never the one who acted. But still, she had been a part of this crew, and maybe she still is, which meant she had her reasons for thinking of her as an insensitive person.

As she thought about her crew she realized that it still could be a prank. This idea grew in her head. But it was so good to have a friend for once, so she ignored her doubts. She chose hope instead. That's why she smiled when she saw Sara's name on her phone. She picked up immediatly.

"Hey, something wrong?" Ava asked, because she didn't expected a call from her. It was late.

"I'm kind of in front of your house. Can you let me in?"

"What?! I can't, my mom will hear us. What are you doing here?"

"I can climb it's not a problem, just tell me where your bedroom is."

"First floor, second window on the left."

"Thanks, give me a minute." And she hung up, already on her way to Ava's room. When she finally reached it, she knocked slightly.

"Hey." Ava said for the second time of the night. She also asked for the second time what she was doing here.

"You said you are sad at nights so I thought I could come here and check on you. Glad to see you're okay."

"You came here just because you thought I could be sad?"

"What? It's a good reason. And it's my last night with you before you start being my boss so maybe we could do something, like watching a movie."

"Are you sure it's okay?"

"Aves chill, if your parents see me just tell them you didn't give the permission to come but I did it anyway. My dad will kill me anyway so it's either him or your parents."

Ava tried to remain calm but Sara had used a nickname. It was so natural to Sara, but friendship was something new to Ava and she didn't know they could start using nicknames so soon. She didn't know and at that realization she started to panic. She would have to keep up and she hoped Sara would not decide one day she had enough. But Sara didn't seem to be like that. For now.

She cursed herself; Sara had come to see her and all she could think about was nicknames, different levels of friendship and the chance that Sara might be playing with her.

"Are you okay?" Sara raised an eyebrow, clearly worried.

"Yes!" She answered quickly. "I had something on my mind that's all."

"Do I want to know?"

"Nope." Ava shook her head. Sara should definitely not know that.

"I was kidding."

"About what?"

"You will tell me what's happening in your super brain. It's an order."

"And why would I execute your order? My super brain tells me not to."

"Who would have thought your super brain could be wrong sometimes? Last chance Miss Sharpe, or you'll be sentenced to death. Do you like tickles? Remember, if you try to resist your mom will hear us."

"Okay fine." Ava gave up. If Sara wanted the truth then she'd have it. "You called me Aves."

"Seriously? That's it?!"

"It feels weird because I'm not excluding the fact that this is temporary."

"Temporary? What do you mean?" But Sara was scared she knew what it meant.

"Maybe you'll stop hanging out with me because, well, I'm just me. The girl everyone loves to make fun of." She shrugged.

"I..." But the blonde didn't know what to say. It was clear it would take long for Ava to fully trust her. She'd forget about that after their lunch, she'd thought everything was good now between them. It couldn't be good, not so soon. "I know I can't ask you to trust me. Only time can show you I'm not here because it's funny to play with you, I'm here because I care about you."

"So it doesn't bother you?" Ava asked tentatively.

"What doesn't bother me?"

"The fact that I still have some reservations. Because I really want to be your friend."

"Don't worry about that. I mean, maybe it bothers me a little but like they say, who sows the wind, reaps the whirlwind."

"Right. So what do you want to watch?"

"Do you have Netflix?"

"No." Ava shook her head.

"Too bad. But it's okay I brought my laptop. What about the lord of the ring?"

"Hm no, I'll fall asleep."

"Oh come on it's a classic! Okay Forest Gump?"

"What is it?"

"You must be kidding me, you've never seen Forest Gump?!"

"Do you want me to throw you out the window?" Ava was obviously hurt in her pride.

"No, no. It's a good thing actually, I'd love to rediscover it over again. You're lucky."

"Do you want me to hit your head to make you forget?" She smirked this time. "By the way did you plan to stay here all night?"

"Could be fun but no. I'll leave after the movie." The second later Sara was under the cover, waiting for Ava to join her.

x

When Ava asked Sara a question during the movie she expected an answer, but it never came. How could she answer when she was asleep? The sound of her voice made her react however; the blonde huddled against her. She seemed happy, unlike Ava who didn't know what to do. She didn't dare to move. She was so focused on being shocked she didn't realize how much she loved seeing her like that against her.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha as if I would send Sara somewhere else x)
> 
> Hope to see you again :)


	5. Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ THIS !
> 
> I had a very hard time working on this chapter because of the vocabulary >< So I'm sorry if it's confusing sometimes. I just learnt the difference between teacher and professor... 
> 
> Now that being said, I am just a ghost now that I've seen the Avalance episode. Did anyone survived the kiss?

For the first time in her life Ava was happy to go to school. She wasn't scared of people's hurtful words. For the first time she didn't need her walls to protect herself. For the first time she had someone. Anything could happen now, it would still be okay as long as she had someone by her side. Well not someone, Sara Lance.

The part of her who was scared of betrayal was still here, but it was definitely getting smaller.

That's why she was more excited than usual to go to school. Okay she was never excited to go to school. When she opened the door Sara was here waiting for her.

"Sara?" She asked surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought we could go to school together. I mean, maybe you could teach me a thing or two on our way. I don't understand a thing in math . The last lesson was a total disaster."

"Did you even paid attention to your last lesson?" Ava teased. "Don't worry, we'll start with the basics first. It's hard to follow if you don't understand the basics."

"Good point. Can you come at my house after school? Or maybe we can come here if you prefer."

"Your place is fine."

"Good. Also I hmm," Sara hesitated, "I wanted to apologize for last night." She explained ashamed.

"Why would you be sorry about this? And you're cute when you sleep." Ava cursed herself for saying this, it had just slipped. When Sara stopped walking she wished she could disappear.

"Wait, are you saying I am not cute when I'm awake? Outch." The blonde pretended to be shocked.

"That's not what I meant." Ava rolled her eyes because of course Sara was cute.

"Yeah? Then what did you mean?" Sara teased her, making Ava blush.

"Leave me alone."

"You must be cute too." Sara said. Ava expected to find mockery or tease in her voice but all she found was honesty.

"Probably not. Now about your math, what do you want to know?"

Ava changed the subject but it was too late, her face was already red.

"Yeah right math." Sara replied playfully, knowing exactly what Ava was trying to do. "It would be easier if we had the same classes." She sighed. They didn't because in this school most of school subjects had two classes; the first one, often called by students the nerd class, reunited the students with high grades. They had enxtensive studies. ' _The best student shouldn't be slowed down_ ' the provisor had once said. Which is why their school had such a great reputation, and which is why Sara and Ava had different classes.  
They had art together until the disagreement Sara had with the teacher.

"I know. We still have physical education."

"What?! I've never seen you."

"Doesn't mean I wasn't here. You didn't notice that's all."

"Oh. Sorry." Sara lowered her eyes, ashamed.

"It's okay, you'll notice me now, right?" Ava bumped the blonde's shoulder gently.

"What if I say no?"

"Then you'll have me on your back even more. Trust me you don't want that."

"Maybe I do."

Ava was glad she had an excuse to see Sara a lot during the next two weeks. When they arrived at school Ava was scared Sara would put some distance between them. Who would want to be seen with her after all? But she didn't. Actually she closed the distance and wrapped an arm around Ava's shoulder because she knew exactly what she was thinking.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Ava whispered, she needed confirmation.

"Yup, definitely." The blonde answered firmly.

But since all eyes were on them Ava found her insistance to be seen with her suspicious. She could see a few grins and her heart stopped. She pulled away from Sara's arm.

"Oh I'm sorry, I should have asked first. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just wanted to show you it doesn't bother me to be seen with you. Actually I want to be seen with you."

"Of course." Ava hesitated. "It's just, why are they smirking?" She couldn't help but ask. Wasn't it a proof?

"I guess they think exactly like you. They think I'm with you for a reason, which is true by the way. I manipulated you so you would save my ass and you don't even know it. Am I not impressive?"

"Very impressive." Ava felt like she could breath again. She wished it wasn't so hard to trust her. She'd thought she did but she realized now that her trust was still fragile. Sara was being so nice she didn't want to hurt her, but she didn't want to be hurt either. "There's no way I'll notice."

The two girls laughed and Sara wanted nothing more than to make Ava forget the rest of the world. She wasn't sure she could do it though.

"You know, they're waiting for me to do some prank, they're not done waiting. About lunch, can we work on math again? It's definitely my weakness."

"Sure whatever you want." Ava answered with a shrug. "We'll have to make a curriculum revision, it will be easier."

"I knew I was in good hands."

"I don't know why the situation makes you so happy, it won't be fun." Ava pointed out but Sara's determination didn't flinch.

"Well it's going to be a new experience." She answered excited. "Okay it will probably be boring but who knows, maybe I'll like it. The new Sara is optimistic. I'm going to write it on my list."

"So basically you are trying to be perfect with your list." Ava raised an eyebrow.

"Trying is all I can do. I mean, have you seen me? Perfect is not even in my vocabulary. But believe it or not, being positive feels really good." Sara said honestly.

"And I thought I was the one teaching you. Thanks for the piece of advice."

"You're welcome."

Before they knew it it was time for them to their own way

"See you at lunch Aves." Sara waved at her.

"See you."

x

Sara tried to focus as hard as she could; she even took notes of everything the teacher was saying. But it wasn't easy. First because she barely understood what she was writing, and second because her ' _friends_ ' wouldn't stop talking. They didn't understand her behavior since the incident with Ava in the cafeteria. Since when Sara leaves a party before the end? And why did she come to school with Ava? Sara was definitely acting weird.

"What are you doing with this girl?" A short haired girl named Kate asked.

"She's helping me with my lessons." Sara answered, still focused on her notes.

"She's what?! That's ridiculous."

"No it's not, she saved my ass. I was supposed to get expelled but she asked the supervisor to gave me two weeks to prove I want to be here."

"Why do you even bother? It's not like you want to be here. That bitch should have minded her own business." She spat.

Kate was right on one point; she wouldn't have minded to leave and go somewhere else. At least in theory, because this time was different. She had been expelled three times already, it was almost a tradition. But this time her father was giving up on her and despite what she kept saying, it hurt her like nothing else. After her mother left she developed a strong bound with him, he was the man of her life. She didn't remember what happened or when, but their bound had faded. Since then she wasn't close to anyone. It wasn't a bad thing since she has been in three different schools. She didn't want to lose anyone again.

However it was easy to open up to Ava, she couldn't say why.

"Her name is Ava and no she's not a bitch. My dad would have killed me this time."

"Okay." Kate rolled her eyes. "What do you have to do to prove you want to stay?"

"I have a test in two weeks."

"Two weeks? You think you can do it?" Kate's tone indicated she didn't believe Sara could.

"I don't know. Ava does though." A small, almost imperceptible smile appeared on Sara's face. Ava didn't know how much her faith meant to her. It meant the world. She was the first person who believed in her.

"Of course she does, she think our classes are easy. And even if she didn't she wouldn't tell you."

Sara had not thought about this possibility. What if Ava's lying just to make her happy? What if the only person who thinks she's not a lost cause actually thinks she's a lost cause? She didn't realize she'd dropped her pen. Ava would not do that right?

"Why would she do that?" She couldn't contain this question in her head, even though she didn't expect an answer from Kate.

"Because this is the only way a nerd can get revenge."

"She's not like that!" Sara protested. "She has other priorities than pranks and payback."

"Yeah like studies, studies and studies, that's so lame. You know what, I think if she studies so hard it's because it's the only thing she can do. Did she ever come to a party?"

"Of course not," Someone said behind them. "If you invite her she'll follow you all night. And I'm sure she doesn't know how to have fun."

"How would you know if she never comes to parties? You don't know Ava."

"You do apparently. Is she your best friend now?" Kate asked and Sara noticed both anger and mockery in her voice. "She's probably expecting something in return for her help."

"No! She didn't ask me anything!" Sara exclamed louder than she should have.

"Something you want to tell us Miss Lance?" The teacher raised her head toward Sara's direction.

"No, sorry." It wasn't her usual arrogant and defiant tone. It was a genuine apology.

"You will have all the time to be sorry in detention."

Sara rolled her eyes. She didn't complain because it was like she was meant to end up in detention. Troubles always found her, no matter how hard she was trying to avoid them. Kata laughed silently, happy she would not keep Sara company in detention.

x

"Detention?! Why??" Ava asked and Sara noticed she was a bit irritated.

Sara should have thought about an excuse before, she couldn't tell Ava the truth. Ava didn't know Kate had said nasty things on her, not when she was trying to make her forget about stupid mockeries. Because that's what Sara would give Ava in return from her lessons.

"It's just... The teacher doesn't like me." Ava rolled her eyes as if to say always the same old excuse. "What? It's true! You have to admit I'm the worst student a teacher can have so I don't blame them."

"Well you have a point."

"Thank you. When someone talked to me I answered and the teacher heard me and because I'm the most annoying student I got a first class ticket to detention. I'm sorry I didn't mean to screw up." She said sheepishly and though Ava wouldn't admit it she found it adorably cute. "Don't think I don't know how much I owe you, because I do."

"It's okay." Ava shrugged. "When is it?"

"After biology, at 4 p.m. so I understand if you don't want to wait." But Sara really hoped she would wait for her.

"Are you kidding me? I told you I'd be on your back, no matter what. I told the supervisor you're going to succeed so you're going to succeed, it's not an option."

Sara had the proof now that Ava really believed in her, she wasn't lying. Why did she even listened to Kate in the first place?

At this moment she realized it wasn't just about her, but also about the girl who's somehow giving her hope about what she can do. She had to do it for her. She would NOT deceive her.

"Thank you. So I took some notes and I need your help to decypher them. I know you said the basics are important but the actual subject we're working on is important too."

"You're right, let me see this."

"Not sure it's something I'll get use to it." Sara said as she handed Ava her notebook.

"Get use to what?"

"You saying I'm right. Since you probably won't say it a lot I should write it down too."

"Well, you're right again." Ava chuckled.

"Damn it girl focus!" Sara rolled her eyes playfully.

"So hungry for math I like that. I hope this hunger won't fade."

"We'll see. Can't promise though."

"At least you're honest, good start."

"You think I'm honest? Does that mean you're starting to trust me?" Sara asked with hope.

After a silence Ava sighed before she answered;

"I guess I do." She smiled and before she knew it Sara was hugging her tightly.

"So we're officially friends then?"

"We are."

"Awesome!"

"Focus girl." Ava quoted with a smirk.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter :) 
> 
> Finally Ava has no doubt about Sara anymore :D


	6. Family issues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to post the chapter earlier but the flu came to say hello and we had fun together the whole week >< But here I am now! And the chapter too!

When Sara opened the front door of her house, she was excited to take Ava on a tour. More imprtantly her room. Her sanctuary.

"Here we are." Sara said as they entered the house. "The living room is over there, here it's the kitchen even though you've probably noticed already." Then Sara lead them to the toilets and the bathroom. "I won't show you my dad's bedroom I'm not sure he would appreciate and Laurel is probably already here in her own bedroom so..."

"It's okay, it's not like we're going to work in their rooms."

"Nope. Let's go to mine."

Ava didn't really know what she'd expected but definitely not this. Sara probably had a thing for ninjas. At least that's what Ava concluded when she saw all the posters and figurines. What surprised Ava the most was the punching bag. Who has a punching bag in their room?

Sara was patiently waiting and a bit nervous about her friend's reaction.

"I know it's not tidy like yours but I'm not a tidy person in general."

"I figured." Ava smirked and Sara bumped her shoulder with her own. "So do you plan to be a ninja?" She teased again.

"I wish I could. When I was young I thought it was a profession. I cried when I learnt the truth." Sara smiled at the memory.

"I can't decide whether it's sad or cute."

"I started to practice martial art this year, trust me I'm not a ninja."

"Give you some time, I can totally picture you as a ninja."

"Aww, thank you Aves."

"Hmm speaking of Aves, what is your nickname?"

"I don't have one, people usually call me by my name."

"No way. We all have at least one nickname. I think you don't want to tell me because you find it embarassing."

"What? No! Since when a nickname can be embarassing?"

"Sara." Ava gave her a stern look. "Tell me. I won't tell anyone, I swear. So tell me." She repeated.

"You know, it's really impressive how smart you are, but it can be so annoying." She squinted her eyes and shook her head. "My parents used to call me... Ducky." She was as red as a tomato now.   
"But don't call me that okay?"

"I won't, we'll find out something else."

"We have more important things to do right now."

"You're right." Ava agreed. She needed to focus too. She doesn't have to tell herself that in general, because there was nothing that could catch her attention in general. She's not in Sara's bedroom in general. "We'll start with your homework for tomorrow. Then mathematics, we'll work on it the three following days."

"Only three?! What can I do in three days? I have too much to catch up, too much to learn. Three days won't be enough."

"But you also have biology, history, geography and english."

"I know." Sara groaned. "Two weeks is too short. It's their way to torture me."

"Well, it's nothing a ninja can't do." Ava winked and Sara rolled her eyes with a smile.

  
While Sara was working on her homework Ava was making her methodological sheets so she could easily learn on her own when she wasn't with her. But it was hard to make them because Sara asked for help a   
lot. Ava didn't mind, it was a good thing. Also she liked her expression when Sara was concentrated so she may spends a little bit more time than necessary looking at her.

A knock on the door interupted them.

"Sara, dinner." A voice shouted from the other side of the door.

"Do I have to?" She shouted too. It's not that she wasn't hungry, but she didn't have time.

"Yes Sara, you have to." The voice said annoyed.

"You know, if you don't eat enough your brain won't be able to work properly. You have to eat. I guess that's my cue."

"Oh my God I'm sorry I didn't mean to take all your time. You need to work too. I mean, I'm not sure you need it but you have to."

"It's okay. It was my idea remember?"

"True. I'll ask my dad to drive you home." Sara said with a smile as they exited her bedroom. Until she saw her father's face. He clearly wasn't pleased with Ava's presence.

"Sara," He started and Sara knew troubles were coming. "Can you remind me the rule about bringing friends home?" He asked between his teeth.

"Only during weekend." Sara rolled her eyes. Ava wanted to be anywhere but here. "But it's different, it's for school."

"School? Come on you could have at least found a better excuse. Do I need to remind you you're leaving in a few days?"

"You didn't tell him about the test?" Ava was taken aback. It's not like it was bad news.

"What test?"

"Doesn't matter. I'll eat when I am back, don't wait for me." She told her father with anger. Of course he would think she was lying about Ava being here.

"What test? And where are you going?"

"I'll walk her home, it's not safe at this hour of the day."

"What? No!" Ava protested. "You'll be home late if you do that."

"I know how to keep me occupied on my way back." Sara smiled.

"No your friend is right, you're not walking her home. I'll drive."

Sara was mad at him and wanted to say no but she couldn't let Ava get home late just because of her pride. If it wasn't for Ava she wouldn't have accepted the offer though.

"But dinner is ready so we'll leave after dinner." He continued. "I hope you like chicken." He told Ava. He usually had a bad feeling about Sara's friends but this girl seemed different. She looked polite and serious which was definitely something new.

"Yes." She answered timidly.

"Ava this is my dad, dad this is Ava."

"Nice to meet you Mr Lance."

"Nice to meet you too Ava."

They ate mostly in silence. Laurel didn't say anything but she was clearly annoyed by the fact that there was a friend of Sara's here, which was against the rule. She had never invited anyone because she'd thought they would have to leave immediatly. But Sara's friend could stay. And she knew for a fact that her friends suck. Maybe their father had agreed just to keep an eye on her because she's implied in a bad situation. Laurel realized as she examined her that she didn't look like she was implied in anything. She stood straight, her cloths were simple, and she was well mannered, probably more than anyone else in the room. Who was that girl?

"So, I've heard you had fun again today Sara." Her father said calmly but both Sara and Laurel knew he was anything but calm.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean detention. There must be something interesting if you spend so much time there."

Sara wanted to defend herself, but not in front of Ava. She didn't want her to know.

"Indeed there is." She defied him. "I love the way Mr Edrick touches me." She was so mad that she didn't realize what she was saying. All she knew was that it wasn't fair, she didn't do anything to deserve to go to detention.

"WHAT?!! This is a very serious accusation Sara." He stated firmly but had never been so scared in his life.

Sara looked down and sighed. She wanted to make her father feel bad, but maybe she'd gone too far.

"Just leave me alone okay?" She saw her father breath again. "It's not like I ask them to send me to detention. It's like they're waiting for me to do something wrong."

"You always do something wrong apparently. Try to avoid detention for your two remaining days of school."

Ava opened her mouth to say the next two days wouldn't be Sara's last ones but Sara gave her a look that made her change her mind. She didn't understand because it might ease the tension.

"Okay I think it's time to go, I don't want her parents to worry." Sara stood up to put an end to the conversation.

"Yes." The father agreed, he knew what it was like to be worried about his daughters.

"It was really good." Ava said politely. "Thank you for the meal."

"You're welcome." He answered, surprised by her comment. He wasn't used to Sara's friends being respectful. "Let's go."

  
When they finally reached their destination Sara thanked Ava for her time and patience.

"My place tomorrow?" Ava asked.

"Definitely not mine." Sara answered loudly to make sure her father hears her.

"How long will you stay?"

"She'll be home at Six." Her dad answered for her.

"Six?!! I can't I need more time!"

"More time for what?"

"For preparing the test." Ava told him before Sara could react. She prayed she didn't just ruin her friendship with Sara.

"And since when do you study?"

Again Sara wanted to say something but Ava beat her to it.

"Since she has a test in two weeks. If she succeeds, which she's going to do, she will no longer be expelled. I need to go now, see you tomorrow Sara."

"Why didn't you tell me about this test?!"

"Because I know what you're going to say. Ava says I need to believe in myself and seeing you everyday looking at me like I'm wasting my time won't help me doing that." She whispered and held back her tears. "It's not like you care anyway." She added.

"Hey, look at me. There is nothing, NOTHING, my baby girls can't do."

"No, it only applies to Laurel." She shrugged but she couldn't ignore the growing warmth inside her.

"Do you say that because of her grades?" He took her silence as a yes. "You know, the only thing Laurel has more than you is a goal. She had found her way very soon. She knows she wants to be a lawyer since she was ten. As long as you don't know what you want to do of course you won't pay as much attention as you should in class. Does that make you less exceptional than your sister? No. Your sister doesn't kick some ass." He winked at her. "You have your own qualities. Maybe I don't tell you enough but I'm proud of you Sara. As much as I'm proud of your sister. I'll always be."

She couldn't hold back her tears this time, but they were happy tears. So her dad didn't love her sister more than her. His thumb swept them away.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel like she's more important to me than you. It's just -"

"I know, I can be a brat." Sara smiled. "About detention earlier, Kate was saying nasty things about Ava and I just lost it. She doesn't know, she's in the A class. I didn't tell her because I don't want her to be hurt. She's been through a lot of crap at school aleady because she's in the A class. People suck. I mean, they make fun of her because she's a hardworker, can you believe that? But she is the one who'll become great and important one day."

"Exactly." Her father agreed. "See? You're a smart girl."

"I want to be like her." Sara admitted with a smile.

"Hm okay but don't change too much baby girl."

"Why?" She asked surprised. "There is so much I need to change to be better."

"We all do, but still, I like you like you are so don't change too much."

"Dad?"

"Yes?"

"I love you." It almost sounded weird because she hadn't told him in years.

"I love you too baby girl." He kissed her cheek and finally started the engine. "Oh and don't say ever again that someone touched you if it's not true. I wouldn't want to kill someone for nothing."

"I promise." She laughed.

"About tomorrow, you can come home whenever you want. Well I mean you call me and I'll pick you up."

"Thanks. I really need her for this. Not just because of the lessons, she helps me to trust myself."

"And you should. Like I said you're exceptional."

"It's not easy. I've never been good at it."

"Why?"

"Because I've always felt inferior. I mean, I grew up with someone who could do anything. Everything she attempted to do, she did it. It made me feel like I suck, but Ava is helping me with it. I'm lucky to have her in my life."

"Why didn't you meet her before?" He joked and suddenly Sara felt guilty.

"I don't know, we didn't have the chance to meet before." Of course it was a lie. She had witness every stupid prank they did to her. "I'm glad I did." But she would not tell her father why they talked to each other in the first place. He didn't need to know she had felt so bad and so low that the idea of killing herself crossed her mind. It was a few days ago but it seemed like an eternity to Sara because now she had a chance at school, a real friend and a loving father. She couldn't be happier. "I'll do it dad." She said with determination. "I'll do so great they'll think I cheated."

"Damn right Ducky." He nodded.

x

The first thing Sara did when she was alone in her room was to call Ava. Of course.

"Hello?"

"Hey, I wanted to thank you for telling my dad. We talked and things are good between us now."

"I don't understand why you didn't want to tell him."

"I didn't want him to laugh at me. I'm not sure I could have handle this humiliation. But he didn't laugh, he said it's a good thing and like you he think there's no way I could fail. I didn't expect his support and it feels really good. Bad news is, he called me Ducky again. I guess it's because we're close again but still." Sara laughed slightly.

"I'm glad for you two." Ava answered. "I regret my promise not to call you Ducky."

"Too bad because you did promise."

"And I always keep my promises. I could call you Ninja. Or blondie. Or your favorite animal. What is it?"

"My nickname can't be Canary." Sara protested but it was too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted a father/daughter reunion :) they're so cute in Arrow it would have been a crime to make them hate each other. Sara owns Ava one, again ;) In the next chapter there will be Ava's mother (her father is not in her life anymore but she didn't tell Sara that's why Sara keeps saying your parents).


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally here!! I'm sorry for the wait, I usually write on paper first and I lost a page of the beggining of the chapter and thanks to my legendary memory I don't remember what I wrote first... So you'll never know the original version x) it took me a while to find the motivation to write something else. Good thing you're here to insist ;)

This time Ava wasn't surprised to see Sara waiting for her at her door. She suspected she would have to get use to it, which was totally fine by her. She wasn't surprised either to be held tightly the second she was outside.

"Hi." Sara exclamed happily. "How are you?"

"I'll be good once you'll decide to let me breath."

"Sorry." Sara stepped back. "I just had to give you my special thank you hug." She smiled. "It means a lot what you did last night. I want to do something for you in return. You can ask me anything."

"No it was nothing, you don't need to do anything."

"What if I want to?" Sara insisted with this smile that made Ava's heart melt.

"Fine, I'll think about something."

"Come here," Sara opened her arms again. "Thank you hug."

Sara's happiness was so contagious that Ava couldn't remember the last time she's been so happy herself.

"I can stay as long as I want tonight so it's up to you and your parents."

"I think my mother will be fine with you staying a little late, if I tell her about the situation."

"Cool."

"You know what's cool?" Ava raised an eyebrow and smirked. "I've worked on another few methodological sheets because I know you only have two hours this morning, and I have an hour more than you this afternoon. I wouldn't want you to get bored."

"Whaat?! You've already done too much. I'm the one supposed to work hard, not you. Did you even sleep?"

"Of course I did. Did you? Because honestly you look like crap this morning."

"Thanks jerk."

"You're welcome. Now answer the question miss." Ava raised an eyebrow.

"I don't have time for this. I have too much work to do, I'll sleep later."

"How can your brain possibly work if you treat it like you do? It needs rest sometimes you know. Okay next lesson; sleep. Tonight you'll sleep at least six hours."

"You won't have any proof. I can just say I did and you'll never know I didn't." Sara teased. "Unless of course I sleepover at your house and you make sure I do sleep." She smiled hopefully. She liked this sudden idea.

"My mom probably won't approve, she doesn't know you. And you know, you're..." Ava stopped for a moment, not knowing how to tell Sara her mother didn't like teenagers like her. At least like she used to be. "You're not the kind of person she'd like me to spend time with." She finally said uncomfortably.

"Oh I see. I guess it's fair." The shorter girl shrugged. "Wait, is it going to be a problem for this evening? Is she okay for me to come and study with you? But she doesn't know me for now, does she? I mean you don't have to tell her I'm, you know... a bitch."

"I won't tell her that silly, you're not a bitch."

"Come on you can say it. You wouldn't trust me at first."

"Okay maybe you used to be, but not anymore. If she only knows you as you are now, she'll like you."

"Even when she discovers we're not in the same classes?"

Ava knew Sara had a point. Being friend with someone who has bad grades would probably be a problem for her mother.

"Look it won't be a problem for tonight okay? It wouldn't be the first time I help someone with their homework."

 

___________________________

 

"How is she?" Ava heard in her back. She turned to face Alan, the one who's usually her partner during exercices when they had to be more than one. But he never really spoke to her when they were not working together.

"Excuse me?" She asked confused.

"The girl you're hanging with lately. How is she?" He repeated. "Are you sure you can hang out with one of them? You know their favorite hobby is to humiliate people smarter than them right?"

"Which mean everyone." Someone added.

"I'm not hanging with them, just her. She's not with them anymore."

"Really?" Not a single student who was listening was convinced.

"Really." Ava insisted. "She's someone good. She's the one who insisted to be my friend."

"So after the cafeteria incident she decided to be your friend. She insisted. Is it guilt? Or maybe it wasn't enough. You wouldn't be the first student who leaves school because of them."

"What? I'm not leaving and she never did this kind of stuff." Ava defended her friend.

"Not her, but her friends did. Remember Jimmy?"

"Yes he had to leave because his parents moved to New Mexico."

"Indeed. I guess we're in New Mexico now because I saw him yesterday and he told me why he really left. He didn't want them to know it was because of them. Maybe she wasn't part of the band at that time, but you can't be good and be friends with people like that."

"Well she doesn't deny she's a bitch. Was." Ava correct herself. "But she said she wants to be better and for that she needs to put some distance between her and them."

"I heard she won't stay long anyway."

"Yes she is. She's working on it. Sara's not going anywhere." She smiled proudly. "Guys, she's making efforts to become someone else."

"You trust her?" Alan asked surprised. Of course he'd seen her with Sara before but still it was hard to believe.

"I don't need to. I mean she doesn't give me any reason not to."

"Okay." His face indicated he didn't believe her. "I guess we'll see."

"You will see, as far as I'm concerned, I already do."

"You're going to go to college next year, it's not like she'll be in your life for a long time anyway. If she's lying you won't have to endure it too long."

Ava didn't have time to answer, the class was about to begin. She had not thought about this before. Will they still be friends after high school? They will take different ways for sure. She wasn't sure she would stay here in Star City, she didn't know to which college she would go yet. So maybe her relationship with Sara was just temporary. Not that it's going to stop suddenly one day but it would fade.

She had to put this idea aside.

 

___________________________

 

"Finally! I thought it would never end..." Sara sighed as she met Ava in the corridor. "I mean, don't think I didn't work in class because I did! But it's way too hard without you to decypher. And I'm probably going to die due to exhaustion. You're right I should have slept."

"Come on, you're doing good. Not great, but good."

"My teachers find my behavior suspicious." Sara laughed. "They don't think it is possible for me to actually work."

"Well teachers are humans, they have to be wrong at some point. You just need someone to kick your ass." Before she realized what she was doing Ava spanked Sara which made her jump a little because she hadn't see it coming.

"You'll regret that, I swear." Sara grinned devilishly.

"Am I?" The taller girl raised a provocative eyebrow.

"Oh yes. I am a tickle expert."

"And I am an anti-tickle expert. Tickles doesn't bother me."

"I'll find something else. I'll take my revenge when you'll expect it least."

"Like a ninja. I'll be waiting, give me your best shot Sara." And again she slapped her ass, a little more forcefully this time. "What? Can't help it, your ass is soft."  
Maybe it was because she realized she had less than a year with Sara that she acted that way, she felt like she had to enjoy every second.

"Thank you, but as long as my ass doesn't ask you for some physical contact, you'd better leave it alone."

"It's not asking, it's begging for contact." Ava's grinned was wide now. "Don't worry I volunteer."

"Wow Ava Sharpe is a pervert, who would have thought."

"You inspire me. I mean your bad girl side inspire me not..." She started to rumble and blush and Sara found it very cute.

"Oh. I was hoping my ass was inspiring you."

"Don't be ridiculous." She blushed harder. She shoud have known this conversation was a bad idea.

"Am I? I thought you said it was soft?"

"Yeah, like most asses on the planet."

"Okay wow, did you just say what you said?? Have you tried most of asses on the planet?"

"No but-"

"And more importantly how can you be so flattering and the second later so insulting? My ass is better than anyone else's. I thought you were an exception; the only human who was always right."

"So modest." Ava shook her head. "Sorry."

"You've got to give me more than a sorry. I want you to say I have the best ass in the world. And I want a sorry kiss." The shorter girl pointed at her cheek.

"Sara Lance you have the most magnificent, beautiful, amazing and soft ass." And then Sara got her sorry kiss.

"Damn, you know how to talk to woman. You're forgiven. And for the record, yours is a close second."

"Shut up. Let's go to my house."

"Yeah. Do you think your parents are going to like me?" If Sara was honest she's been nervous about it all day. Their conversation about her mother didn't help.

"It's just my mom and me so don't worry about my dad. And my mother well, as long as she doesn't know too much about you yes she will."

"Just you and your mom? we have this in common then, except it's just me and my dad. What happened?"

"I don't have a father. I mean technically I do have one but I don't know anything about him." Ava shrugged which surprised Sara.

"Why's that? Who wouldn't want to know?"

"My mom never wanted to tell me anything about him, I stopped asking question a long time ago."

"But you have the right to know!" Sara insisted. "I would want to know if I were you."

"I know but maybe she has a reason for hiding this information. I mean maybe he's an aweful man who raped her and she's protecting me." It was the only thing she found to accept the fact that her mother would not tell her.

"How is she protecting you? Not telling you anything makes you think it's a possibility. Maybe your father isn't in your life because he doesn't know you. That's not fair from your mom. Don't you feel like a part of you is missing? Because that's what I feel with my mother yet she's still in my life. I just don't see her a lot since she moved to Central City."

"You have someone to miss, not me, I don't know him. But I guess you're right." Ava looked down and shrugged again. She had stopped caring a long time ago, but Sara was right. She needed to know. At least why her mother didn't want her to know, and then it would be her decision. She was afraid it was a bad start between her mother and Sara if they had this conversation because Sara was clearly annoyed by her mother's decision.  
"You have a point, but please let me have this conversation with her myself."

"Of course, I'm just saying. I just want to help you in return for what you did last night."

"I know that, but let me handle this because I know she'll be mad at some point for bringing it up and I really want her to like you."

"Oh. Okay I get it. Never tired of being smart?" Sara smirked.

"Never."

 

________________________________

 

"Wow Aves this is huuuge. Do you really live here?"

"I do." Ava nodded. "No need to be jealous or anything, it's not as amazing as you can think." She said and Sara raised an eyebrow, not convinced.

"Do you have a room with some awesome sport equipments?"

Ava laughed, she should have expected a question like that from her friend.

"No, nothing like that."

"Then you're right, it's not that amazing." Sara agreed even if she truly thought it was. "Now let's work or I'll never be ready."

That's when Ava's mother entered the room. She looked surprised when she saw Sara and for a moment the teenager felt out of place.

"Mom this is Sara, Sara this is my mom."

"It's nice to meet you. Ava is helping me with my homework. I'm not really good at studying." Sara admited, afraid of the reaction she might have.

"Come on you're getting better." The taller girl reassured her.

"She's here to study? And here I thought you were finally making friends." Ava's mother rolled her eyes, unaware of how it hurt her daughter. It was true Ava never really made friends but it was not like she didn't want to. She'd known loneliness for a while now and she still didn't like it. Plus she didn't want Sara to hear this.

But Sara's reaction was not what Ava had expected. Trying to hide the bitterness in her voice Sara told the grown up woman:

"I can think of a million things I'd rather do with Ava instead of studying but I don't have the choice." Her mother or not, she would not let anyone hurt her. Ever again. "Ava is my best friend." She added.

"Okay." Ava's mother simply said before she left and Sara was shocked she didn't even apologize for her behavior.

"Hm... S-sorry about that."

"Are you okay?" The shorter teenager asked worried.

"Of course. She was kidding." Ava laughed nervously.

"She wasn't."

"It's just the way she is I guess. She wants what's best for me and she's worried about my social life that's all." Ava looked away. "By the way you didn't have to lie."

"About?"

"Me being your best friend."

"What makes you think I lied?"

"We're only friends since a few days."

"You know what? Your mine if I'm yours. Deal?"

"You know I don't have any friend other than you so of course you're my best friend."

"Okay but if you had friends, would I be your best friend?" Sara insisted.

"Probably. Technically we can't tell for sure."

"Oh come on Aves just say yes. Do you know what best friend means?" She stopped but didn't expect an answer from Ava. "It means you'll always put me before the others. I come first."

"Of course you would want to come first." Ava smiled, making Sara grin. "I can't think of a lot of people I would put before you."

"Now, but you never know."

"Wait, would you be jealous if I had another friend?" Ava threw her head back, visibly amused.

"What??! No!" Sara replied, and maybe she would have been convincing if she wasn't blushing. "Okay yes, totally. Ava's insistant look made her admit.

"Aaaawe, you'll always be first."

"Selfish again, huh?" Sara looked away. "Sorry."

"Don't be, I kind of like it." The taller girl simply said.

  
When they were finally in Ava's bedroom Sara's eyes landed on the bed.

"Oh my God; a bed." She exclaimed the very second they entered the room. And the next second she was lying on it. "I'm so tired."

"Don't close your eyes, you'll fall asleep."

"Give me ten minutes. I'm really tired. You said it yourself, my brain needs to rest." Her eyes were already closed anyway.

"Just this time. You're such an idiot." Ava sighed. "Seriously what were you thinking?" But Ava knew why she did it and honestly she couldn't be more proud.

"I need to do it." Sara answered sleeplessly. "Want to join me? I guess you could use some sleep too."

Ava thought about saying no, she had her own homework after all, but for some reason she accepted the offer and lied next to her.

"Ten minutes." Ava accepted. For the second time she watch Sara sleep. In her bed. She stayed awake because someone had to wake the other.

After those ten minutes and an extra minute of a grumpy Sara, they finally started to work.

  
"Wait, say it again. Huh! This is not understandable." Sara groaned.

"It is."

"Not for me."

"Your brain must be so fustrated to be put aside." Ava teased and earned a threatening glare. "It's totally capable of understand this kind of stuff."

"Shut up." She bumped her shoulder. "Or I'll ask someone else to help me. And I know you love me too much to let me do this."

"And you love me too much to do this. Come on, we're wasting time."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure it was good, it feels a little rushed to me but I didn't want you to wait any longer :/ Which is also why I didn't include the Sara / Laurel conversation who was supposed to be in this chapter.
> 
> EDIT : I apologize for making you think I was going to stop writing this fanfiction, I really didn't mean to. I have too many ideas to stop now. Plus they're not even dating yet. I'll try to make it up to you and update soon (one or two weeks) but I can't promise you because lately it feels like all I do in my life is working and sleeping.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't count the days but I think I kept my promise, right? :D *proud of herself*

Four days left before the test and Sara was becoming more nervous every day. Ava and her father kept telling her she would do it, and sometimes she believes it too but she couldn't help but think about what if she fails. What if all of this had been for nothing, what if she had wasted Ava's time, what if Ava would change her mind about her because she definitely can't succeed anything she does in her life? And her father, what would be his reaction? He finally had a reason to be proud of her but would he still be?

She was too focus on her homework and lessons to think about it lately, but when she woke up in the middle of the night because she dreamt about the supervisor telling her he was right from the beginning and he still didn't understood Ava's request, the idea finally crossed her mind. Ava would lose her credibility and it would be her fault, because she wasn't intelligent enough. She knew the first rule was being optimistic and believe in herself but after this dream she couldn't fight her doubts and fears. She needed to talk to someone about thoses doubts.

x

"Laurel?" Sara knocked on the door. No answer. "Come on I know you're not asleep."

The door finally opened.

"What?" She asked with a sigh, annoyed that her little sister came to disturb her during a Netflix night. "What?" She asked again but this time with worry when she saw her expression. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's just... can I come in?"

"Sure." Laurel opened the door completely to let her pass.

"It's about the test." Sara said as she sat on the bed. "I just dreamt that I failed miserably and it made me think, what is going to happen if I do? What if I'm doing this for nothing?"

"Wow Sara calm down, you're not doing this for nothing. You're doing this for you first, to know what you're capable of and you showed you're capable of hardwork. Honestly I didn't think my lil sis had it in her." She teased.

"Shut up." Sara tried to defend herself from her sister's attempt to tousle her hair, in vain. "I'm serious Laurel, I don't want to disappoint them."

"Okay you fail so what?"

"So what? Are you kidding? If I don't do it I'm going to be expelled. For good this time. Ava would have defended me for nothing. She's really invested in this."

"Yeah, speaking of Ava, she's in the A class, right? Since when do you care about them? I thought you said they were stupid and don't know how to really enjoy life?" The big sister smiled. She'd always known why Sara didn't like them; she was jealous. And she wanted to hurt Laurel who was in the A class herself at that time.

"Well..." How to explain it to her sister? "She came and talk to me when I wasn't in my bitch mode."

"Because you have a non-bitch mode I don't know about?"

"Yeah I know it's weird. I'm not used to hang out with people like her. I never gave her a reason to before but still she sees something good in me. Damn she even convinced the supervisor to give me another chance, can you believe that? That's why I can't fail. But..." She sighed deeply.

"Sara listen, if you do fail, it won't be the end of the world. Not for you, not for anyone else. I've never seen you work so hard so whatever happens I won't be disappointed in my little sister. Dad won't either. I don't know your friend enough but I'm sure she'll share our opinion."

"I don't know... Yeah maybe. But I don't want her to believe in me for nothing."

"I know what you mean and I understand." Laurel wrapped a comforting arm around Sara's shoulders. "They're both saying you can do it yet the chances are not a hundred percent. But like I said it's okay. I know you Sara, if you fail you'll come back even stronger."

"Thanks." Sara really needed someone to understand. "I'll go back to bed now, I have to sleep. Ava's order." She grinned.

"Ava's order, huh? You don't even listen to mine. Goodnight." Laurel shrugged and Sara knew something was on her mind.

"What?" The little sister narrowed her eyes.

"How close to her are you exactly?" Laurel threw her head back and smiled.

"Excuse me?!" Sara chocked. "I'm not... We're not... we're just friends! And hello, Ava is a girl. I'm not into girls."

"Hey," The older girl raised her hands to defend herself, "I was just asking. It's just you've never talk about anyone the way you talk about her."

"Well she's not anyone." She crossed her arms. "It's not my fault if she's so... her. I don't love her that's absurd."

"As absurd as I had a crush on a girl once."

"You what??! A girl? Are you...?"

"No, turned out it was nothing more than a crush but still."

Sara couldn't believe her sister never told her about this. A crush on a girl.

x

She was now lying on her bed, looking at the ceiling. Of course she wasn't in love with Ava, she was just close to her. Very close to her but not enough to love her. Yes she liked her, after all how could she not? She admired her. But she wasn't in love with her. And even if she was Ava would never love her back. She wasn't worth Ava's love, she barely deserved her friendship. She let her get humiliated even after Ava convinced her it would be a mistake to kill herself. She still hated herself for not doing anything. But now they were friends. Nothing more.

Slowly she fell asleep and this time her dream was completely different. Ava was still in it, but she was not disappointed and Sara wasn't ashamed.

They were in Sara's bedroom, lying next to each other, no homework, just the two of them.

"I can't believe you did that." Sara laughed and wrapped an arm around Ava to bring her closer to her.

"I know. I'd never thought I'd have the couage to call him asshole one day."

"I'm poud of you." Sara nodded solemnly with a smile.

"Thanks but I need a proof."

"A proof?" the smaller girl asked confused.

"A proof that you're proud of me." Ava answered with a faked innocent look.

"Oh." When Sara understood what she meant she reduced the distance between their lips and after a few teasing touches she finally captured Ava's with her own. Ava giggled, encouraging Sara to go further. A second later she was on top of Ava.

As the smaller girl was occupied kissing her neck, Ava slipped her hands under Sara's shirt.

  
Sara wake up suddenly, in shock because of what just happened in her dream. Laurel's fault. She felt weird. Did she like it? She couldn't say no.  
She touched her lips as if to remember how the kiss felt. She didn't remember the feeling, but she remembered enjoying it. She blushed at the simple thought. Why did her sister have to say that?

If she felt weird and confused when she woke up, it was nothing compared to the moment she saw Ava. Her cheeks were burning and her eyes, no matters how hard Sara tried, could not face hers.

"Hey," Ava geeted cheerfully but soon realized something was wrong. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, and you? how are you this morning?" She smiled uncomfortably.

"Good. Unlike you obviously. What happened?"

"I had this dream." Sara said without thinking, it just slipped out of her mouth. "And hm, in this dream my worst actual fear happened." It wasn't a lie, she had dreamt about that too. It wasn't  
the problem though. Not this one. The one in which they were about to... "Aaah." She groaned as she covered her eyes with one hand.

"Don't think about it, it's not going to happen."

"I know!" She agreed. "I don't know where it comes from."

"It comes from you're thinking about it everyday. It's not a surprise."

"No I'm not thinking about it!" Again, it slipped out. It was a good thing Ava didn't know what Sara was really talking about.

"You do if it's your fear."

"Let's talk about something else." The shorter girl answered with sigh.

"Fine." Ava smiled playfully. She was still surprised how comfortable she felt around Sara, it had happened so fast. "Ready for a new day?"

"Ready for the test to be over." Sara "Soon. Four days to go." She bumped her shoulder.

"I know, it's exhausting."

"It'll get easier. You won't have to work that hard. I mean, I'll still be on your back to work on basics, but we'll have more time."

"I know it'll get easier but still. You're the only good thing in studying."

"Awe, you're cute." Ava didn't let her face show how much it touched her.

"I know right?"

"You had to ruin everything." The taller girl laughed, soon followed by her friend.

  
Before they knew it it was time to go to their classes. Earlier Sara'd felt awkward when she saw Ava but now she didn't want to leave her. Yes the dream was still disturbing her, but classes would be so much better with her. Easier too probably.  
She wished they were in the same class even more when the teacher announced they had to make a presentation in two days. It could have been fine, she could have dealt with it, if it wasn't in group of two. And she couldn't even choose her partner. Of course she had to work with Kate.

"Hey, with your new friend we're so going to have an A. Awesome." Sara's partner said excitedly.

Trouble coming.

"She's not going to help us. She has her own things to do."

"I thought you said she was helping you with yours?"

"Yeah but it's different, it's for my test."

"Yeah well, I don't see the difference."

"We have brains too you know, we can do it on our own."

"Really? I don't understand a single thing, do you?"

Even with Sara's hardwork lately she had to admit she would need Ava's help at some point. Would it be fair to ask her? Or should she just do it on her own and get another D? C maybe if she was lucky.

The problem was she knew how Kate would behave with Ava so she didn't want them to be near each other.

"I can do it alone if you want." It was the solution; preparing the presentation with Ava and without Kate.

"No it can be fun I think. Kind of."

Sara took a moment to think about it. She was tired of C's and D's and having Kate as a partner wasn't helping. Finally she reluctantly accepted. She would ask Ava.

  
Sara had no choice but to invite Kate at her house for the presentation. She had called Ava to explain the situation because they were supposed to study at her home tonight, but her friend hadn't picked up so she deduced she didn't have her phone with her. She wished she could have at least told her about Kate being here too.

When the bell rang Kate ran to the door and Sara understood she wanted it to be over already.

Ava's smile faded when she saw who had opened the door. What was she doing here?

"Hey Sara, your nerd is here!" Kate looked at her closely with disdain.

Before Ava had time to realize what was happening Sara was already here.

"Hey." A guilty smile painted her face. "I tried to call you."

"We have to make a presentation and we need you to do it for us."

Ava's face never left Sara's. Was she really asking her to do that?

"Okay first you don't have to agree, and second you won't do it for us." Sara glared at Kate.

"It will be faster if she does it for us." Kate argued.

"Aves seriously, you can say no."

"Aves?" Kate chuckled at the nickname.

They ignored her. They had to, other wise it would be very long.

"Well actually she's right, it'll be faster and we can't waste time. But like Sara said I won't do it for you."

"Thanks! I'll make it up to you I swear." Sara hugged her.

"Why? If she were really your friend you wouldn't have to make it up to her. That's what friends are for you know."

"I'm really sorry about that." Sara whispered in her friend's ear.

  
Just like Sara had feared Kate didn't stop criticizing Ava. She could see Ava was taking the hit but Sara had promised herself it would never happen to Ava again. She was supposed to protect her now.

"Hm not bad nerd. At least you have something that's good about you." Kate was mocking her again.

"Okay enough. Ava get out." Sara said angrily.

"What?! Why? She's the bitch here!"

"Excuse me?!" Kate answered angrily.

"You heard me."

"Aves go home and she'll see she made a mistake when the teacher tells us our presentation sucks."

"You don't have to pay for this little piece of shit." Ava spat before she hit Kate in the nose. Her nose started to bleed. Sara was in awe before what her friend just did.

"Fuck you!" Kate wanted to reply with her fist but Sara was faster, she grabbed her wrist.

"I don't think so." Sara shook her head with a smile. "We'll take care of the presentation, get out of my house."

"Fuck you too Lance." She knew better than to fight Sara so she left as she was asked.

  
Once she was gone Sara turned to face Ava.

"Wooow. I didn't know you could do that!" The shorter girl smiled proudly. "That's my girl."

"Sara I think I broke my hand."

"No you didn't." She laughed. "Next time, use your palms. But you have to admit the pain is worth the relief. I enjoyed the show, she had it coming."

"She did." Ava nodded, a smile on her lips, still not believing she punched someone.

"I'll get you some ice, it'll ease the pain."

"Thank you by the way."

"For what?" Sara raised an eyebrow.

"For not letting her hit me back."

"As if I would ever let her do that. Her or anyone. It's the only thing I can do better than you so..."

"You know it's not true."

"It is. I'm sorry I asked you to do this. I can't say I didn't know it would end like this. I mean I didn't know I would see a badass Aves but I knew she would be a pain in the ass."

"She was indeed. But I did it for you. She said it herself, that's what friends are for. I would do it again." Ava winked.

This wink reminded Sara what happened in her dream last night and she dropped the ice she was supposed to give Ava.

"Sara are you okay? You're red." Worried Ava put a hand on her friend's forehead to check her temperature, which didn't help.

"Yes, just a little clumsly." The shorter girl stepped back. Not that she didn't like Ava's touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little reminder to you all, I'm opened to every constructive criticism :)
> 
> Ahhh... Savage Ava <3  
> As always I hope you liked it. Now, lesbihonest, who believes Sara doesn't have feelings for Ava? :p
> 
> I won't make you any promise this time, I'm really not sure I'll be able to post a new chapter soon. I'll try though.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, it's been a long time hasn't it? Sorry about that. I can't blame work this time. Not completely at least. A new Avalance fanfiction popped up in my mind and the only way to get rid of it is to right it down ><

"What did you do?" Sara asked her big sister as she entered Laurel's bedroom. Laurel jumped at this sudden appearance.

"Nothing." Laurel tilted her head back, not knowing what her sister was talking about. "Remember we talked about knocking."

"What did you do when you realized you had a crush on your friend?"

"Oh." She smiled. "So you do have a crush."

"I don't know, maybe I'm just overthinking about it because you talked about it. So what did you do?" Sara insisted. She needed her sister to give her some advice.

"Nothing, she had a boyfriend. Still has. I couldn't go to her and say hey I have feelings for you, would you go on a date with me? Forget about your boyfriend, you've only been together for three   
years. But Ava is single, right?" She asked with a malicious smile.

"Yeah but she's not a lesbian. I'm not either."

"Clearly you're not, you have tons of posters in your room with shirtless guys. The question is, what about shirtless girls? You don't have to be lesbian to like girls. Maybe tomorrow you'll see   
someone in the street and say damn he's hot. I know for a fact you say it a lot."

"I know." Sara shrugged. "But even if I wanted to date Ava-"

"You do want to date her." Laurel interrupted.

"How do I ask her? I mean everytime I've asked a guy out he already liked me. Guys at school are not hard to seduce. But Ava... there's no way she's going to accept to go out with me." Sara sighed. "The more I think about it, the more impossible it is and the more I want it. Wait, maybe I wan't her only because I can't have her."

"Maybe. But don't you want to be sure? You don't have to tell her hey would you be my girlfriend? No, take your time Sara."

"Thanks Laurel. I'm not even supposed to think about this right now, I have better things to do."

"Hey, crushes are important." The big sister pointed out. "Especially in this situation, your crush is a girl. I know you want to focus on your studies but feel free to come and talk to me whenever you want."

"Thanks. So you're saying I have to try with Ava? Even if she's not gay?"

"Did she tell you she wasn't?" Laurel asked.

"She didn't tell me she was." The little sister shrugged. Laurel was right, technically she didn't know about Ava's sexuality.

"So you don't know. Look, forget about it for the next few days but once your test is done tell her how you feel."

"I hate that you're so smart." Sara mumbled. "Why do you always have the solution?"

"Okay first I don't, and second you're happy I'm here to give you some advice."

"Yeah, yeah." The little sister replied as she left the room, but came back a second later. "Don't tell anything about this to dad, okay?"

"Promise." She winked and Sara knew she could trust her.

x

"You sleep tonight, okay?" Ava told her friend. It was half a question half an order.

"I'll try, but I'm really nervous. I've never been nervous like that before." Sara said softly. She was lying on her bed, lost in her thoughts. "You're lucky you're too inteligent to feel like that." She sighed.

Ava had said no studies tonight. Tomrrow was the day.

"Breath, it's going to be okay." Ava stroke the back of Sara's hand. "Just so you know, I feel it before every exam."

"Yeah? Then how do you deal with it? How do you make this stupid voice go away?"

"All you need is to trust yourself." But Ava knew whatever she said it couldn't erase her fear of failure. She knew it because like she'd said, she felt it too. "Let's talk about something else. We could listen to some music or watch a movie. Just don't think about it, okay?"

"Okay." A small smile appeared on Sara's face. "What do you want to watch?"

"Well, I've never watched Kill Bill." The taller girl pointed her finger to the poster on the wall.

"Oh no you're kidding me?!" All her stress was gone, all she could feel now was disbelief. "Why?! Seriously?"

"I prefer romantic movies."Ava shrugged. "They make me hope one day I'll find my prince charming."

"Prince Charming? There's no such thing." Sara had her answer now; Ava was not gay.

"What is your version of prince charming?"

"My version?" She looked at Ava intensely. "Smart, cute, someone who sees the best in me even if I don't, someone who helps me to become the better version of myself. None of the guys I dated were like that."

"Maybe you're asking too much. I hope you'll find someone who fits that description one day."

She couldn't say that person was in front of her, right?

"Yeah maybe. What about your version?" Sara asked, hoping she had at least some things in common.

"Someone nice, who stands for who he is, not afraid of what other people think. A little jealous, that's cute, and romantic. Oh and maybe a little badass like you."

"He'll definitely be jealous of me because I won't stop to spend a lot of time with you just for him. And just so you know, if a guy hurts you just tell me and I'll take care of him. You deserve to be treated like a princess." Sara grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

Ava had to admit she didn't expected it. Sara's words were so genuine. She didn't need any guy righ now.

"And you deserve to be treated like a ninja." She replied, knowing it was what Sara wanted to hear.

"God you know me too much."

x

Sara knew the provisor was looking at her. He would watch her all along. She tried not to think about it. She tried to focus on the test.   
She regreted she had not revised the previous night. Actually it was like she couldn't remember any of her lessons. It wasn't fair after all the time she'd spent with Ava. After a while she raised her head.

"You should have give me more than two weeks." She complained.

"You're supposed to know all this."

"But you know I don't." She clenched her teeth. "Two weeks is too short to catch up, even with Ava helping me!"

"Tic toc."

"You should have just said no when she asked you to give me another chance." She said before she focused on her sheet again. ' _Okay, calm down, Laurel said it won't be the end of the world. Start with what you know. I think I know this one_ '.

  
"Okay time's up." He said even though Sara was still writing on her sheet. She was reluctant to give it to him. There were probably a million mistakes and honestly she wanted him to just forget her. She felt ashamed and wanted to run away as far as possible. "Come here after class and we'll see if it was a wastet of time or if, by some miracle, you managed to catch up in two weeks."

"You'd hate that right?" God how she hated him.

"Well if someone like you can do it then everybody can do it so I guess it wouldn't be so bad to still have you around. But yes I wouldn't mind if you just leave this school."

Sara rolled her eyes. She hoped Ava wasn't waiting for her behind the door because she would not be able to face the girl who gave so much energy for nothing. But she was indeed waiting for her with a hopeful smile.

"How did it go?" Ava asked both excited and nervous.

"Do we have to talk about it?" Sara looked away and Ava had her answer.

"Sure." They were silent for a moment. "Hmm I still didn't watch Kill Bill." Ava said hesitantly. "Maybe we could watch it tonight."

Sara smiled. Of course Ava would manage to make her smile.

"Now that this crap is over you can have a sleepover at my house." The shorter girl proposed. It would definitely lighten the mood.

"I have to ask my mom but I think it's good for me. What about your father? If I remember correctly the rule is no friend during the week. Only weekends."

"My dad likes you." Sara shrugged.

"Cool. Can't wait." Ava answered excitedly. She had hoped they would still spend a lot of time together after the test and it looked like that was exactly what was going to happen. "Your last class is at 4 p.m. right?"

"Yeah but the provisor wants to see me after class for you know... the result of the test. I'll be offically expelled." Sara sighed.

"Is it selfish to be happy about this so I can be your private teacher?"

Why did Ava had to say your private teacher? Of course Sara blushed. But she needed Ava's positiveness in her stupid miserable life. She needed Ava in her stupid miserable life.

"This is sooo selfish." She nodded in agreement. "I guess I won't have a choice but to be your student."

"I shouldn't tell you this but," She reduced the distance and whispered in Sara's ear, "You'll be my favorite." She winked.

Ava's breath tickling her ear made Sara feel things she thought she shouldn't. Maybe she was just thinking about Ava in a different way only because of what her sister had told her but still it was really convincing. Maybe she should have a boyfriend to forget her feelings for a girl she knew she'd never have.

"I hope so."

x

When Sara entered the provisor's office she wasn't nervous. Maybe because of Ava's private teacher joke or simply because it was already over and she had accepted her fate.

"Miss Lance." He greeted her, expressionless. "So as you know I spoke with your teachers all day to debate about your case. They talked about your recent behavior in class, which they said was something they didn't expect to see, even in their wildest dreams. When a teacher tells me I wish the other students acted more like Sara Lance, you know something's wrong. Or in this case, something is wrong with the Sara Lance I know. You are clearly trying to change."

"I have a good mentor."

"I noticed, she came to see me in the first place. Anyway, they are satisfied with this new behavior."

"But we both know that's not what will give me a second chance here. Tell me about the test."

"It's not perfect." He said and heard Sara sigh deeply. Maybe she'd had a little hope somewhere inside of her after all. "But it's not bad." He finally added. Sara looked up to see if he was kidding. But he was not. "Ava was right to believe in you."

Was he actually smiling at her?

"So you're saying I am not expelled?"

"Yes. But you won't have another chance Miss Lance." He warned her, still smiling.

"Can I have my copy back? I want to know where I screwed up."

"Yes, if you don't mind Ava asking how could you be wrong on this or that question." He joked as he handed her her copy.

  
Again Ava was here waiting for her, but this time she wasn't cheering, she was here to support her. So when Sara jumped into her arms yelling 'I did it!' she was as dumbfounded as Sara a few minutes ago.

"Thank you so much Aves." Sara said as she held on her even more tighly. No she wasn't crying, she had something in her eyes.

"You can thank yourself too. Let's celebrate tonight. We'll watch Kill Bill another day."

"Miss Sharpe," the provisor said as he exited the office too. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Sure." Her face was suddenly serious.

"Obviously you did an amazing job with Miss Lance so I was wondering maybe you could help other students too."

"What?! No!" Sara protested immediatly before Ava could say yes. "I mean, things are easier to understand with her and I need her for my lessons." When she saw he wasn't convinced she continued "I need a lot of her lessons because I want to go to college."

Ava looked at her dumbfounded for the second time in two minutes.

"College is not a piece of cake, especially for you."

"I know. There are a lot of students who can help other students." She was almost pleading.

"I won't be able to help other people." Ava interrupted them. "As long as they don't want to anyway. And They'd rather make fun of me than let me help them. Like she says, I'm not the only inteligent student here."

"Okay." He knew it made sense. Sara had work very hard to succeed, which would probably wouldn't be the case of student who doesn't want to be helped. He walked away, leaving the two girls alone.

"Sara, was it jealousy?" The taller girl asked with a smile. "You want me for yourself."

"You said it yourself, you're my personal teacher. Yeah sorry," She shrugged and looked away. "It's that it's like... it's like our thing you know?" Her voice was almost shy.

"Study is our thing?" Ava raised an eyebrow.

"Sounds ridiculous, huh? I don't know, I kind of like to study with you. See how much you changed me?" She bumped her friend's shoulder.

"As long as it's in a good way."

Sara realized she had to stop falling for her deeper and deeper. But how?

x

"I am so so proud of you baby girl." Quentin took her daughter in his arms the second she opened the door. She laughed happily.

"Thanks dad."

"That's my little sis." Laurel said behind them. Sara could tell she was proud too. "Oh and that's Ava, hi Ava." She greeted amused. She looked at Sara suggestively.

"Yeah, I invited her to celebrate."

"Sure, you're always welcomed here Ava. What about we go to the restaurant tonight?" The father asked and earn two cheerful yes. "You come too Ava, after all the test was your idea. It's my way to thank you."

"Don't say no Aves, you deserve it." Sara said before she could refuse. Because she knew she would refuse.

"Okay." Ava answered shyly.

"Any preference Sara? It's your decision."

"Any restaurant with pizza will be fine by me. I want a pizza."

x

"Dad, can Ava sleep at our house tonight?" Sara asked, making her sister choke on her drink. Sara knew why, she knew what she was thinking. She looked at her and mouthed a ' _it's not what you think_ ' to Laurel who smiled.

"Laurel are you okay?" Her father worried.

"Yes, it's just my drink tastes weird. It's a great idea Sara, what do you think dad?" Two against one. Three with Ava. He couldn't say know. Laurel winked at her sister who blushed. "Sara can I talk to you in private? There's something I need to tell you."

"Sure." She rolled her eyes knowing what it would be about.

"Sleepover, huh?" The big sister teased. "Are you going to tell her?" she asked half joking half serious.

"No! There's nothing to tell her by the way."

"Come on, Ava is a good match for you." Laurel pointed out. She meant it, she'd never seen her sister happy like this before. "And more importantly, you like her. Give it a try, she's single."

"If I tell her and she says no it will be different."

"Oh come on Sara, it's already different. You are different with her. Instead of thinking about what if she says no, think about what if she says yes."

Honestly, Laurel's words were encouraging her more than she thought they would.

"But how do I tell her?" Sara was panicked at the simple thought of standing before Ava and tell her what she feels. But the more she was talking to her sister, the more courage she had to do it.

"I don't know. I may sound cheesy but let your heart speaks for you. Be genuine, honestly I wouldn't be surprised if she had the same feelings for you."

"You think so?" The little sister looked at her hopefully.

"Oh yeah I do." Maybe Laurel was a little bit lying. Not that she thought Ava would reject Sara, she just didn't know her enough to affirm such thing. But her sister needed to hear this. For some reason, she wanted to play cupid. Maybe because she hadn't have her chance with her own crush.

x

Lying under the covers, Ava and Sara laughed at every stupid thing they said, but all Sara could think of was how to bring the subject. But when it was time to sleep she knew she couldn't wait any longer.

"Ava, can I tell you something? Like something really, really personal."

"Sure. You know you can."

"I huh... sorry it's not really easy to say." Sara could feel her heart race. "I've watch a movie lately. A gay movie." She lied. "And I told myself wow I can really relate to this lesbian character. So I asked myself, what about girls?" She was proud of her absolutely believable lie.

"You're gay?" Ava asked surprised and for a moment Sara wished she'd never said anything.

"I don't know." Sara sighed. Because honestly she didn't. How could she tell she wasn't imagining she liked girls just because she had a crush on her friend. "Would it be a problem for you?"

"You can be anything you want Sara it'll never be a problem for me. You mean too much for me to lose you."

Sara looked at her intensely. Some would say she was eating Ava with her eyes. She was scanning every movement of her face. Her eyes, her smiling mouth, her lips, damn her lips. It was too much for Sara. She did what she'd dreamt to do for a while now. She grabbed Ava's face and kissed her. The first second was magic, even more than she'd hoped it to be. Her soft lips were fitting Sara's so perfectly. But when ther first second ended everything went from amazing to aweful.

"What are you doing??!" Ava pushed Sara away who fell off the bed. It wasn't her intention to be that violent but she'd been surprised.

"Hey, okay I overstepped and I apologize but you didn't have to kick me out." Sara protested with a bit of anger but it was mostly frustration.

"I didn't want my first kiss to be an experiment for you or anyone else!"

When the shorter girl thought about it, it was true that it looked like she was looking for an answer; whether she liked girls or not.

"I'm going home." Ava declared as she left the bed.

"No! Aves stay. Please." She grabbed her wrist. "I haven't been completely honest with you." What did she have to lose now? "I didn't watch a gay movie. No character made me ask myself about my sexuality."

"But still you don't know, and you used me to see whether or not you like girls too. Or just girls I don't know. By the way, I'm not really the one you should use to represent girls." Ava blushed.

"I don't know whether I'm attracted to girls or not, but what I know for sure is that I'm attracted to you Ava. So call it an experiment if you want, but it was the best kiss I've ever had. You will probably hate for what I'm going to say but I'm glad I stole your first kiss."

"You...? Me? You can literaly have anyone you want, even the sexiest guys at school would kill for you. I don't know about the girls but why would you pick me?"

"Remember when we talked about our prince charming? For someone so smart, you can be blind. You have every qualities I quoted in my version of the perfect prince charming. Please tell me I didn't just screwed our friendship." Sara pleaded. "I'll find someone else so you won't have to act weird with me okay?"

Ava nodded, barely understanding what was happening. Sara liked her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you for still being here <3
> 
> The end was a bit mean I admit :x but hey, we all know Avalance is end game.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo :) Finally back here, though I'm afraid you'll hate me after you read this.

So Sara had feelings for her? Ava the uninteresting nerd? Okay they got close in a very short amount of time; the went from stranger to best friends in two weeks. But that's just it: Sara didn't spend enough time with her to develop feelings. They studied most of the time.

Sara looked so peaceful sleeping next to her, as if she didn't drop a bomb on Ava. She didn't know why but she loved the regular sound of her friend breathing.  
Ava couldn't take her eyes off of Sara. Her eyes dropped on her lips. Wow, Sara kissed her.  
She blamed her damn reflex to push her away. Okay it was not how she wanted her first kiss to happen. She'd always imagined it would happen during a romantic date. But the kiss was mind-blowing. So why did she had to break it? Maybe because she wasn't a lesbian. Still, she understood why every boy in their school wanted to date her.

When they had talked about their prince charming, Ava may have thought about Sara for a second, just a second but she concluded it was because Sara was the first person she was really close to.

Now she was thinking about it more seriously. After all she couldn't sleep and Sara was lying next to her and the bed was barely enough for two. She didn't mind the contact though. So yeah, she was thinking about it more seriously, she had nothing else to do.

What would it be like? Was Sara a romantic person? Did she liked long cuddling sessions?

As if Sara had heard her she burried her head in her chest, making Ava blush.

These questions didn't matter anyway. After all, it's not like it was going to happen. But a girl can dream right? Because she knew now that she would like it very much. To hold hands with Sara, kiss her, have dates and yes also make some people jealous. Why would she always be the jealous one?

But it was too late now. She'd already said no to Sara. And let's face it, she wasn't good enough for her. She wasn't cool like her, she didn't spend hours and hours in the bathroom every morning to put make up on. She wasn't good at being girly. The only thing she was good at was school.

And even if she was good enough for Sara, what her mother would think of her. She literaly wanted Ava to do things straight. She would never accept. Or would she?

She decided it was time to stop thinking. So she just wrapped an arm around Sara (what? she started it!) and cleared her mind to help her to finally fall asleep.

x

"So I was thinking," Sara started before she took a sip of her orange juice, "what about Josh?" She asked her best friend.

"What about him?" Ava raised an eyebrow, not following.

"You know the date I have to find myself to erase my feelings for you. That was the deal remember? So it won't affect our friendship." The shorter girl looked at Josh and asked herself whether or not she should ask him now. "He's nice, handsome I guess and he has good grades like you. Okay not like you like you but good grades so he won't be a bad influence on me."

"Sara don't do that, it's ridiculous."

"Is it?"

"Yes. I keep telling you are more inteligent than you think but if you start thinking like that then you're totally dumb."

"Fuck you." Sara laughed and threw some of her food on Ava. Honestly, she didn't want to date anyone.

"You'd love that." Oops. It was supposed to be a joke but it was a stupid joke considering that Sara had told her she liked her. She blushed hard. "Sorry."

"Don't be, I like that part of you." Sara smiled though she had to admit she'd been surprised by Ava's comment.

"But seriously, it wouldn't be fair. For him, for you and even me. You can't ask him on a date without being serious. Sorry, my romantic side speaking. He'll be disappointed, you'll waste your time knowing this is not what you want."

"Okay you're right. But why wouldn't it be fair for you?"

"I won't spend as much time as I want with you. Look, I understand why you want to do this but you don't have to. It doesn't feel weird or anything, actually I'm flattered."

"Wait, would you be jealous?"

"As jealous as you when I'm asked to help other students." What was the point of denying?

"This is a really high level of jealousy you know?"

"Yes, it's just I like when we spend time together and now it's gonna be even more interesting since we don't have to work on your test anymore. So yeah I'd be frustrated if you looked for a boyfriend for the only reason to have a boyfriend." Ava admited.

"Hey Aves, remember what we said about best friends? They always come first. So when I have a boyfriend or a girlfriend you'll still always be first." Sara found Ava's insecurities cute.

"Thank you for being my best friend, I thought it wasn't for me before I met you." She said honestly and Sara kissed her cheek as if to say you're welcome.

"Thank you for being mine. I think you're the best best friend someone can have. You've already saved my ass twice in two weeks."

"Oh Sara, you're still here." Kate said behind her . "So you did it. Congratulations." It was obvious she didn't mean it. She wished she hadn't actually because she resented Sara for turning her back on her former friends. And for what? A nerd. The nerdest nerd of the school on top of that. "You don't have to hang out with her anymore. Come back with us. Do you know how many parties you've missed?"

"You're right I don't have to, I want to. Ava is my friend." Sara stated.

"Is she? Okay well," Kate turned to face Ava, "I guess you're proud of you but she'll leave you behind like she did with us."

"Look at you, she had a pretty reason to."

"Wow okay I'm done." Kate raised her hands in the air. "It's not like you're worth it anyway." She told Sara. "And for the record, if you change your mind don't bother come to us." She left after that, letting the two girls alone.

"Savage!" Sara grinned. "I'm proud of you, you've come a long way." She winked.

"I never thought I could do such thing to be honest. Especially not with one of you." Ava blushed at Sara's compliment, she was proud of herself too.

"What do you mean one of us? I'm not with them anymore." Sara reminded her.

"By you I mean all the popular students. You are one of them, even now."

Sara shrugged. She didn't care, it was just Ava and her. The others could hate or love her she wouldn't give a damn.

"You should change your point of view. Don't see us as popular or not popular, at the end of the day we're just people." Sara pointed out. "And those you call popular, they have nothing on you."

"Thanks, but you only say that because you... like me."

"I'm not sure." The shorter girl took some time to think about it. "But even if it was, it doesn't change the fact that you can face anyone who's messing with you."

"Oh yeah speaking of which, it's your turn to teach me."

"Whenever you want." Sara declared, trying to promise herself not to be too tactil when she teaches her some movements. She smiled at the thought.

"As soon as possible. I want to be like you. Or at least as close to you as I can be."

"You'll be the first ninja nerd. I like how it sounds." She smiled. "Wait it's not fair if you can do everything. Maybe it's not a good idea after all."

"Please, I'll do whatever you want." Ava pleaded. "Plus I don't know how to cook so I'm not good at everything."

"Cooking doesn't count, too hard." Sara mumbled.

"Okay so obviously it's not your thing either." Ava teased her friend.

"Nope." The bell rang and Sara sighed. "I hate that sound. See you after class." She waved at Ava before she headed to her class.

Ava looked at her leaving the table. She had another hour before her own class.

Sara had just waved at her. Ava couldn't help but wonder what would Sara have done if she hadn't rejected her the previous night. Would she have kissed her here in front of everyone? Would she openly expose her sexuality and show every possible sign that proved there was something between them?

Ava wished she was brave enough to get up, catch up with Sara before she entered her classroom and kiss her. The same kiss they had last night before Ava pushed her away.

But she wasn't. She had never been brave, it was just not her. So she just stay here, hating herself, again, for the occasion she'd missed.

x

Tonight was friday night and the two girls organized a movie night at Ava's. Popcorn, icecream and soda. Sara was concentrated on the movie when Ava asked:

"What happens during parties? I've never been to a party. Is it like in the movies?" She asked. "We only have movie nights."

"During parties? We dance, have fun, drink, sometimes flirt when too much alcohol is included. I'm not sure you would like the kind of parties Kate was talking about. I can tell you for sure it is like a jerks' reunion with music."

"Oh. Okay. I was just curious."

"Hey, we could throw our own party." Sara said excitedly. "I'm sure we can find sane people at school to invite."

If they did, would Sara flirt with anyone? It was not like she absolutely wanted to go to a party, movie nights were cool.

"Yeah maybe." She said without enthusiasm, making Ava understand she wasn't interested. She didn't want to see someone flirt with her either. God she was so selfish.

"Or not." As expected Sara changed her mind. "I like it better when it's only the two of us anyway." Everytime Sara said things like this she felt like it wasn't fair for Ava. Ava was clearly not interested yet she still says things like she wanted her for herself. She couldn't help herself.

"Me too."

Sara focused on the movie again.

"Oh man I don't know if I hate this scene or if I love it." She said as a woman and a man started to undress each other. "This guy is hot as fuck, and she's paid for touching him!" She rolled her eyes. Jealousy was definitely created for Sara. "But at the same time; look at those abs, I can only thank her to take his shirt off. Doesn't mean I like her, he's too good for her. Damn it. They wouldn't have to pay me that's for sure."

Ava didn't expect Sara to be so excited just because the guy was shirtless. Maybe it was because he was Sara's favorite character. Probably, because he was not that sexy. He was okay. To be honest she didn't want Sara to gush about that stupid character. She would never say it aloud but she wanted Sara to gush about her. Even if it's not possible.

"I don't know." Ava simply said.

"Whaaat?! Seriously Aves, even lesbians would date him."

"I wouldn't."

"Something's wrong with you." Sara shook her head with a smile. "It's okay, I'll keep him for myself then."

"You can do better." Like me, she wanted to say.

"Than him? I don't think so." Her attention was back on the tv. "What about you? Which character would you like to... you know. There must be someone." Sara teased her friend.

"No." Ava shrugged in response.

"Liar. Tell me who." Sara started to laugh and tickle Ava.

"I swear." She tried to tickle her back but in vain. "I'm interested in someone else."

Sara stopped suddenly. She couldn't say what feeling was overwhelming the most; surprise or deception. But she had no right to prevent her from dating.

"A real person? At school or...? Do I know him?"

"You definitely know this person." Ava nodded. "It's not a him though."

It was not fair. Ava fell for a girl and it wasn't her. She waited for Ava to tell her who the lucky girl was.

"Can I..." The taller girl looked away and blushed.

"What?"

"Can I do an experiment too?" She finally finished her sentence.

"What?" Sara repeated, clueless, until she remember their kiss. "You want to...? What?" Her mind was going crazy. She'd been trying so hard to ignore her feelings and now Ava wanted to kiss her. Just like that. "You're saying that you do have feelings for me but you didn't say anything?"

"You caught me by surprise the other night. I know I missed my chance with you. And you already moved on."

"I didn't, I just don't want to bother you with my feelings."

"Also, we both know it's not going to work. I mean, what is it in me to love? You can find so much better than me so it's kind of selfish to tell you this. I'm out of your league." Ava admited.

"You're out of my...?" The shorter girl shook her head. "That's ridiculous, you are out of my league. So what I tell you I like you but you don't want a relationship with me because you think you're not enough for me? Isn't it for me to decide?"

"I'm just scared that you will realize I am not the best girlfriend you can have."

"Like I said, my decision." Sara simply answered with a smile. "Waiting for your experiment by the way." She wanted that kiss. God knows she did. Ava hadn't even move yet and her heart was already beating insanely fast. In fact Ava didn't move until Sara grabbed her hand and pulled her towards herself. "Damn girl what are you waiting for?" Sara whispered, dying for the kiss to happen.

Ava smiled. She loved how Sara made her feel. Desired.

"You sure?" She raised an eyebrow teasingly.

"Yup, never been more sure of anything in my life."

After what seemed to be hours for Sara, Ava finally leaned in to kiss Sara. It felt just like the first kiss. Meaning awesome and awful.

Awesome because they had both craved for it to happen. Sara thought she could stay like that forever and Ava thought she was the luckiest girl in the world.

Aweful because Ava's mother chose this moment to enter the bedroom, which could have been just awkward and nothing more. Except that Ava wasn't ready to come out to her mother so she freaked out.

"what are you doing?!" Ava asked Sara, pushing her away for the second time, pretending it was not her idea.

Sara move away from Ava and saw an expression on her face she recognized quite well. It was the same she had herself a couple weeks ago at the cafeteria when she just watched her friends humiliate Ava and did nothing. She was saying sorry with her eyes. She understood, really she did, but it didn't change the fact that it hurt.

"Don't touch my daughter like that!" Ava's mother ordered. "Damn I knew you couldn't make normal friends Ava, what's wrong with you?"

Sara would not defend her this time. No way. She headed to the door when the mature woman called out to her.

"I don't want you near my daughter anymore."

"Mom."

"Oh don't worry, shouldn't be a problem." She looked at Ava one last time with hurt and anger.

"Sara wait!" Ava tried to follow her but her mother stopped her.

"Let her go." She wasn't asking, it was an order.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you want to kill me but remember I need to be alive to post the next chapter :D


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can thank either my boss for giving me two days off in a row (Amen, didn't know it still existed) or my guilt (I'm actually wearing a shirt with the word guilty written on it xD) or both, because this chapter is ready, waiting for you to read it. 
> 
> I should be safe from death threats now

On a scale from 1 to 10 how much did Sara hurt? At least 100. She finally had what she wanted, Ava returned her feelings and it had felt like it was the best day of her life. Happiness never filled her heart so much and so quickly. Yet this happiness left her as quickly as it came, leaving behind it sadness and hurt.

Another text from Ava to apologize. Sara stopped reading them after the third one. She didn't answer. She was asked to stop seeing her after all and texting was probably included. She wanted to talk to her sister. She was the only person she knew she could talk to.

  
"Hey." Sara said quietly as she knocked on Laurel's opened door and waited here.

The big sister was focused on one of her law book. She didn't raised her head as she answered:

"After all this years trying to find a way to prevent you from entering my room without knocking, all I had to do was to let my door open?" She smiled, waiting for an answer, which she didn't receive. She finally raised her head to look at her sister. Crying sister. "What's wrong?" She asked though she had an idea.

"It's Ava."

Laurel sighed deeply.

"You know if this girl keeps making you cry I won't like her for a very long time." It was the second time Sara came to her in tears because of her. The first time was when Sara told her about a certain sleepover they had, in which Sara had declared her feelings For her.

"She kissed me."

"Wow that's awesome! It's awesome, right?" Laurel didn't understand why Sara was sad.

"I shouldn't have fallen for her." The little sister shrugged.

"Why? Is she such a bad kisser? You can teach her you know."

Laurel managed to make Sara smile a little.

"No, her mother came in."

"Outch. Bad timing."

"Ava doesn't want her mother to know she has feelings for a girl so she acted like it was my idea and she didn't want it."

"So you're saying she does have feelings for you." Laurel said with enthuasm. "I mean okay the situation sucks but the most important thing is what she feels about you."

"No it's not. The most important thing is to be able to kiss her no matter who's around us!" Sara said, upset.

"Look Sara, I'm not gay or bi but some friends of mine are. You know Garett? He told me he was gay a few years ago. One day after we left the library he said he had something to tell me, something that was killing him inside."

"Being gay is killing him?" Sara raised an eyebrow.

"No silly. The fear of everyone's reactions. He said it was hard to keep it for himself because he felt like he was lying to everrybody. I think the only reason why he told me was because it was getting too much for him. I remember that afternoon like it was yesterday; he was trembling, hesitating, scared. It pained me so much to see him like this you have no idea. I mean fuck he likes boys so what? He shouldn't feel bad about it. It meant a lot to me when he said I gave him the strength to accept his sexuality. Be okay with it. Still it took him a whole year to come out to everyone, because the society we live in sucks. So if you really care about Ava, give her some time to accept her sexuality, to make her coming out."

That was the worst part. Sara was aware of it, how difficult for someone it can be to come out, but still couldn't find it in her to forgive Ava. It was selfish she knew it. But she would have never done that if her father had came in her room! Her father was not Ava's mother though. Ava seemed impressed by her, always doing whatever she's asked to do like a robot, always trying to satisfy her. It wasn't a surprise if Ava didn't want to tell her.

"I thought I could finally be with her." Sara said barely enough for Laurel to hear.

"You can be. You like her she likes you, the only problem is Ava's fear of letting her mother knows she's gay."

"Yeah, 'only' problem."

"Be here for her. Support her as long as she needs and then you will finally be together, assuming it's still what you want."

"And who's here for me, huh? We're in the same situation, the difference is I'm not a coward!" She hit the wall with her fist.

"Okay, you do whatever you want with your walls but you're in my room. And I'm here for you dumbass. You said she doesn't have siblings."

"Why do you keep defending her?!" Sara asked exasperated.

"I told you why!" Laurel raised her voice. "I've seen how devastated someone can be because of who they are inside. I've seen how tiring it is to pretend to be someone you're not. I've spent days and days comforting Garett during which all he did was crying over my shoulder. It was heartbreaking and most of the time I cried with him. I'm not saying what she did was good, but it was understandable. Don't expect me to blame her sis because really after all the time I've spent with Garett I can't."

"But it hurts." Sara whispered.

"I know." Laurel took her in her arms and held her tighly. She felt her shirt getting wet as Sara burried her head in her neck. "It's gonna be okay I promise."

"You don't know that."

"If heterosexual and bisexual heartbreaks work the same way then yes, it's gonna be okay."

x

Sara wanted to avoid Ava at all cost. Ava wanted to find Sara at all cost. She found her, with that Josh she'd talked about the previous day. She couldn't help but be jealous, even though she knew she had no right to.

She waited for her to leave the group to finally get to her.

"Hey." She said ashamed. "I'm sorry ab-"

"Go to hell." Sara didn't even look at her. A part of her wanted to because Laurel was right, what she'd done was understandable especially knowing Ava was shy and the idea of her coming out was like her failing a test.

"I didn't know what to do!" Ava defended herself. "I freaked out."

Sara stopped. Ava wanted to talk, then they would talk.

"I can't believe I've ever said I want to be like you. You're such a hypocritical person."

"What?"

"You said you want someone who can stand up for themselves, someone who doesn't care about what other people think but look at you, you do what people wants you to do."

"That doesn't make me hypocritical." Ava argued. "Just because I admire a quality doesn't mean I have it. I hate the fact that I'm too weak to act like that. I hate myself for it. I care about what my mother thinks and she would be disappointed in me." 

"Then why are you talking to me? She told you not to." Sara asked annoyed.

"We can still spend time together here at school." Ava answered hopefully.

"Are you kidding me?? I don't want just half of your time. I don't want your time anyway." The shorter woman lied. She knew she was too harsh on her. It was not like she broke her heart on purpose. Laurel said when you're scared, you can do things you wouldn't normally do. If it wasn't for her fear, she would have never rejected Sara after saying she wanted her.

Laurel obviously wanted Sara to support Ava through her fears but Sara had her weaknesses too; her common sense couldn't overcome her pride and hurt.

"Can we at least be friends?" Ava pleaded, knowing she was losing her.

"We can be whatever you want Ava." Sara said, it was her turn to crash her hopes. When she saw Ava smile she added: "As long as you don't talk to me."

Ava didn't follow her when she left. Sara wished she did. She wished she could be as mature as her sister. Laurel would have probably punched her for talking to Ava like she did. Since when did she care about gay struggles anyway?

What she wouldn't give to just turn around hug her and goddammit kiss her. But what would happen this time, huh? What reason would she have this time?

x

For the first time in her life, Ava skipped a class. She just stayed at their favorite spot lost in her thoughts.

Being gay sucked. No, being her sucked. Being gay was not a problem, a lot of people didn't hide their sexuality and were completely happy. But being gay and unable to tell other people sucked. She sucked. Ava felt like she was trapped, she couldn't say anything but her silence cost her the most important person in her life. What was she supposed to do? She wanted a normal life and Sara. She couldn't have both.

Why did her mother had to come at this very moment seriously? But she would have seen something at some point so maybe it wasn't a bad thing if she had interrupted them before anything started. Still she wished she didn't come.

x

Enough was enough. Sara had ignored her for three days now and she couldn't take it anymore. Sara was her partner in crime. Everything new thing she did, she did it with her. It wasn't possible for her to keep staying away.

Sara had rescued her from her loneliness, she couldn't go back to that.

"Mom, I need to tell you something." Ava said shyly and her mother knew something was wrong. She sighed, waiting for her daughter to say something bad. "Do you remember the last time Sara came here?"

"Unfortunately I do. Why?"

"She didn't kiss me." Ava admited. It was now or never, she couldn't step back now. "I kissed her."

"Excuse me? Why would you do that?!" The mother choked.

"Because I'm gay."

Wow. She said it. She told her mother she was gay. Just like that.

"I don't think so. I knew from the start this girl was trouble. Don't let her make you believe things that aren't true. You'll have a husband one day and children, but definitely not a wife."

Of course her mother wouldn't accept her sexuality. It didn't surprise Ava. That's why she'd lied and said Sara kissed her in the first place.

"Mom, I don't like boys." She insisted. No, Ava was not the husband kind. She wouldn't say no to children though. "Like it or not this is who I am, she made me realize that."

"God I don't know what she did to you but Ava you need to wake up." When the grown up woman used this tone, Ava was usually scared to death. Not this time. This time she was angry.

"She didn't do anything to me." Ava rolled her eyes. "You can blame me if you want but leave her out of this."

"She is the one who put this idea in your head."

"How could you know? Maybe I've been thinking about it before her. It's not like we talk a lot." Okay, it was completely because of Sara. Thanks to Sara.

"I know my daughter is not some sort of freak!"

"Freak? For what, being gay?"

"Absolutely." They shot daggers at each others.

"Yes, I love her, but at least I have the ability to love, unlike you. So who's the freak between us?"

Before she knew it Ava's mother slapped her. She never did before. But Ava never talked to her like that. She would not accept to be called a freak by her daughter. Her daugher who claimed to be gay.

"I'll call your grandmother, I think you need to spend some time away from her to come to your senses."

"I'm not going anywhere." She wanted to cry, but she would not let her mother see how she felt. She thought about Sara, imagining she was here to support her for her coming out. It was ridiculous but it helped.

"You don't want to go? Fine, but you won't stay here either."

"Are you kicking me out? I'm your daughter!" She didn't think her mother would go this far.

"As long as you'll be gay then no you're not." Her mother shook her head.

"Then I'm not."

x

Sara was in her room looking for a movie to watch on Netflix when she heard an unfamiliar noise outside, like something fell on the ground.

She opened her window, a bit nervous. Nothing had fallen on the ground. Someone had. Ava. If she wasn't mad at her right now she would have laughed so hard. She wanted to laugh so hard.

"Sorry." Ava said ashamed as she got up. "I thought I could climb and... can we talk?"

"Why?" It was clearly a no.

"I told my mom."

"What?!" Sara wasn't sure she'd heard her well. Ava told her mom??

"Can we have a real conversation please? Like in your room."

"Okay. Do you prefer window or door?"

Something Ava thought would never happen again actually happened; Sara smiled at her. It was even better than both of their kisses reunited. It was hope for a new relationship with her, whatever it was.

"Door please, I think I'm not good with windows." Ava laughed nervously.

"On my way."

  
"So what did you tell her exactly?" Sara asked as they entered her bedroom.

"I told her I kissed you when she saw us, not the other way around."

"How did she take it?"

"Well first let me tell you she doesn't like you, it's your fault if I'm gay. No it's your fault if I think I'm gay because, duh, of course my mom's daughter is not gay."

"Outch. Sorry." To be honest she'd really thought Ava was wrong about her mother, that she would accept her, that's the main reason why she put some distance between them; she'd thought her reaction was not justified. But like Laurel said, they lived in a fucking stupid society. She should have known better, instead she turned her back on her.

"She wants me to live with my grandmother."

"Is it a good thing?" It was probably not.

"She lives in Texas. I think she wants me to be away from you, the girl who perverted me." Ava couldn't help but grin.

"I perveted you? What? That's not fair! You perverted me." Sara pretended to be offended. Finally they found their complicity again. "So what are you gonna do? Are you leaving?" She asked with indeniable sadness, she would hate to lose her again just after having her back.

"I have two solutions; Run away from who I am or run away for who I am. A few weeks ago the latter would have been out of the question. But you inspired me Sara, I know now I have it in me to accept myself and tell her this is who I am. I'm not ashamed of it, I'm proud. Sorry if I get carried away it's just that it feels so good to be freed of this burden. To be able to say what I want to say. To stand for myself. This is all because of you so, thank you Sara."

Sara hardly believe what she was hearing. Ava, her shy Ava, was so confident.

"Wait here." The shorter girl said and looked for something in her room. She finally took her earphones on her desk. "Hands behind your back please." She ordered as if she was a cop.

"What?" Ava asked but did it anyway.

Sara used the headphone cord to tie her hands and Ava finally understood.

"I swear you move and I'll kill you." Sara said before she kissed her. She felt Ava's lips curl up as she giggled. No sign of resistance this time, no one interrupting them, it was perfect.

"I love you." Ava whispered under the kiss.

"I loved you first." Sara grinned and Ava rolled her eyes with a smile. "I'll ask my dad if you can stay here since you have nowhere else to go. If he says no, I'll go with you."

"Wait I'm not here to be a burden." Ava refused the inviation.

"Oh but you already are a burden to this world Aves." Sara stuck out her tongue.

"Fuck you!" The taller girl answered with a small slap on her shoulder, making her laugh.

"Seriously, I think he'll say yes."

  
If Ava had come out to her mother, then she would do the same thing with her father. Sara couldn't say she was a hundred percent confident, but she had Ava by her side.

"Dad," The daughter found him in the kitchen, reading the newspaper. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sure." He raised his head up and only then he noticed Ava. "Hey, I didn't know we had company. You didn't tell me you invited your friend. Hi Ava." He smiled at her.

"She didn't invited me actually, I just needed to talk to her."

"Wow, since when teenagers stopped using their phones to talk to someone?" He laughed.

'Since your daughter doesn't answer my texts or calls?'

"Long story." Sara interrupted them, it was not the point of the conversation. "Ava's mother kicked her out and I was wondering if she could stay here for a while."

"She did what?! You're only seventeen. This is punished by the law, as a cop I can't ignore that."

"Don't do anything please!" Ava panicked. "She wants me to go live with my grandmother."

"Oh. That's another story then. Why don't you want to go there? At least you'll have a home."

"She will judge me just the same. My mom just wants me to be away from here."

"Why?"

"Because she's my girlfriend." Sara said out of the blue, surprising both her father and Ava because they had just kiss, nothing more. Did that make them girlfriends?

"You're... together?" Quentin's jaw dropped and Sara prayed he would not reject her like Ava's mom did. "No offense but I always thought you would date some stupid idiots. Don't blame me, you're used to hang out with stupid idiots."

The two girls laughed nervously, still waiting for his answer.

"Is it a problem for you if I'm with a girl dad?" Sara asked shyly.

"Let's see, a girl or a stupid idiot? Hmm I'd say you made the right choice. And let's face it, no one can be worse than your boyfriend Andy."

"Who's Andy." Nope, Ava was absolutely not jealous.

"No one."

"A jerk." They said at the same time. "She's changed a lot with you Ava, she's so much happier. You're the only one good enough for her."

It was so different from what had happened with her mother. She envied her a bit it's true but at the same time she was glad to know that not every coming out were a disaster.

"So she can stay?"

"She's not going anywhere." The father nodded with a smile.

"Thanks dad!" Sara jumped into his arms so suddenly he almost lost his balance.

"You don't have to thank me."

But she kissed his cheek anyway. The girls were about to leave when Quentin spoke again.

"Oh and Sara,"

"Yes?"

"You sleep on the couch. Or with you sister I don't care. I've never let your sister share her room with her boyfriend. Dating a girl doesn't change the rules. It is called gender equality." He winked.

"Daaaaaaaaaad." The daughter complained. It's true she was already picturing herself sharing her bed with Ava every night. "We won't do anything I promise. We'll let the door open."

"Your sister tried that too. The couch, until we find you something."

"Her mother just kicked her out, as her girlfriend it is my duty to comfort her." Sara argued.

"Sure. And once you're done, you sleep on the couch."

"Hate you!"

"Love you too baby." He smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand this is the end. The end of how I imagined the fanfiction in the first place at least. It seems so unfinished though. I have a few ideas left but maybe you could share yours ;) 
> 
> I love reading your comments so feel free to write some :D


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said the last chapter was supposed to be the end but I couldn't help but write more ^^

"What about this one?" Sara asked her sister as she handed her a dress.

"Pretty sure it would look good on you." Laurel approved.

"Think so? I don't know... should I even wear a dress? Isn't it too much?"

"God Sara! When you asked me to do shopping with you I was excited because we never do this together. You don't like shopping and for once, for once, you asked me to go with you. But it's been two hours and you didn't buy anything yet."

"Excuse me but this is important. I'm sure you know what it's like to be nervous for a date. It will be our first date! I need to choose carefully."

"You two are already together." Laurel shrugged, which made her little sister sigh.

"Still, we never had one. I'm sure it's important for her. I know it's important for her, she loves romantic stuff."

"And since when do you do romantic stuff? It's a first." Laurel teased, even though she meant it. Sara's past relationships were never healthy. Romance barely existed in Sara's vocabulary.

"Shut up. We'll have a great night and I'll make her happy. She needs to forget her mother turned her back on her. I'm glad she lives with us but I still wish she had a family. She doesn't want us to know but I can see it, she's devastated. I saw her being bullied at school, but I never saw her like that. Which I totally understand but I want her to be happy. I want to give her a perfect night."

"Wow, you're so into her." Laurel smiled. "A perfect night, huh?" She raised an eyebrow. "Then we're not at the right place."

"Really? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Laurel didn't answer, she just grabbed her hand and led her to another department.

"What?? Are you kidding?!" Sara blushed furiously.

Underwear department.

"You said you want her to be happy and make her forget about her mother, right?" The big sister grinned. "This is the best way to make her forget."

"No." Sara stated.

"Why not?"

"No." Sara repeated. She looked away. She wanted to leave this place. "I won't do this."

"It's not like it's your first time." Laurel laughed slighly then stopped. "Oh my god is it your first time? After all the boyfriends you've had?"

"I'm not a virgin. It's just... it's too soon."

"Too soon? Since when is it too soon for you?" Laurel knew her sister was lying.

"I don't want Ava to feel forced."

"Another lie. Come on you know I can tell when you're lying." The big sister sighed. She didn't like when her sister was hiding things from her. "What is it?"

Sara mumbled something Laurel couldn't hear.

"Louder please."

"I don't know." Sara finally repeated. "I don't know how to do it with a girl." She admited.

"Ooooh."

"It's not funny. We're not there yet anyway."

"Hey, I don't know how to do it either but I think it's pretty much the same thing. Except for the fact that she has a vagina."

"Do we have to talk about this?" Sara asked, embarassed.

"Just touch her the way you want to be touched." Laurel continued, ignoring her sister. She liked to tease her.

"Shut up!"

"She wants it." Laurel simply said.

"You don't know that. Let's go now."

"Come on pick one, it's on me."

"Why are you doing this?" Sara asked exasperated. "Why does it matter so much for you?"

"It matters because I didn't drag dad out of the house for nothing." Because yes it was Laurel's idea to give them some privacy. "For some reason he thinks, despite all you've done before, that you're going to be a good girl and nothing will happen. I guess he trusts Ava, because you and a boy alone at home is absolutely out of the question for him. And in this case Ava is your girlfriend and he still doesn't suspect anything."

"And he's right. Are you saying I should lie to dad?" Sara asked as an excuse.

"He's overreacting, we're big girls now, he needs to accept it." Laurel winked at her little sister. "Just one." She insisted with a smile.

"Just one." Sara finally agreed.

x

Ava had been pleasantly surprised when Sara came to see her and asked her on a date. Honestly she'd never thought anyone would aver ask her on a date. Even less a girl. Even less THE girl. But Sara did ask her. She'd said she wanted to give her a proper reason to be accepted as her girlfriend. Sara wanted to be romantic. For her. She was clearly not used to it and Ava knew she was making efforts for her. She was doing her best, always trying to do more and Ava wanted to tell her she didn't have to. Sara was already perfect. One last glance and she headed to the kitchen. The kitchen was where Ava was supposed to meet Ava at 7 p.m. exactly.

Sara'd done a wonderful job, candles, roses and a little note in her plate; "To the most beautiful girl in the world in the world, thank you for being here."

"Do you like it?" Ava could decypher some nervousness.

"It's... you did all this for me?"

"Who else? You're the only one worth it."

Ava had really expected more confidence from Sara. She was always confident.

Sara pulled up Ava's chair for her.

"Thanks."

"Here." Sara handed her the menu.

"Seriously? You shouldn't have bothered yourself so much."

"Aves it's our first date. I don't like how you officially became my girlfriend. We hadn't talked about it and I told my dad we were together. Tonight I will ask you if you want to be my girlfriend and I'll do it the right way this time." She explained

"Maybe it was a little rushed at first but you are an amazing girlfriend."

"Of course I am." The Sara Ava knew was back. "But I want our first date to be a fresh start. A real start. I want a date we'll never forget."

"Okay." To be honest Ava loved it already. No way she'll forget about it. Ever.

"So, I cooked myself, I hope it won't be disgusting."

"Sara seriously you didn't have to do all this. Now I feel like I shoul have done something too, which I didn't."

"I don't want you to. I told you once, you deserve to be treated like a princess. I meant it. And I thought if I ever had the chance to be your girlfriend, this is how I would treat you. Like you're the best thing in the world."

"Stop it." Ava blushed. "You only say that to make me happy but we both know you don't mean it."

"I do!"

"There are girls at school so much more beautiful than me, don't lie."

"First I don't remember seeing a girl prettier than you. Second beauty is made of two things: what you look like AND, I insist on the and, who you are inside. For example Kate looks good, really good if I'm honest but she's so ugly inside you forget how good she looks. You, you have both: you look really really good and inside you are even better. You're an inspiration for me. So no I don't know anyone more beautiful than you. I mean, I didn't even like girls before you. You're the only girl who caught my eyes Ava." She leant in to kiss her.

"You're beautiful too. Besides I love your dress."

"Really?" She kept her cry of joy for herself. She wanted to tell Laurel they didn't waste their afternoon after all.

x

"It looks delicious."

"Thanks."

Ava loved the small attention and smiled as she tasted the meal. A second later she couldn't help but spit what was in her mouth. "Sorry." She apologized, ashamed of what she'd done.

"Oh my God it's that bad?" Sara asked with a sigh and Ava didn't answer. "Sorry." She said defeated. She'd spent so much time cooking and it was all for nothing.

"Don't be, I'm not a good cook either. We can order pizza."

"Okay." Sara shrugged. "I really thought it would be good."

"Next time. We'll cook together."

Sara liked the idea.

"Still, pizza is on me, otherwise you eat what I made for you. Your choice."

"Okay okay. Such a gentlewoman."

"Not a lot of people can witness my gentle side, you're lucky."

"Oh I'm sure that's true. Does anyone ever use the word gentle to define you?"

"I don't think so. Anyway, this night is for you."

"You know, I feel bad for not trusting you from the start." Ava admited.

"You shouldn't, you were just protecting yourself. Actually I think you trusted me pretty soon, which I'm absolutely grateful."

"Grateful enough to owe me something?"

"Why? Do you want me to do something? You just have to tell me you know." Sara was ready to do anything. She was not just ready, she was able to do anything.

She'd thought she knew what love was but the feelings she had for Ava were stronger. It was the first time she was obsessed with someone. It was also the first time her father approved of her partner and it meant a lot to her. He could have pushed her away for being gay but he didn't, he was fine with it. He was more than fine that his daughter was dating someone like Ava. He wanted someone good for her. He used to say she always had to pick the wrong guys. The 'cool' ones who don't like the rules and love to break them. Ava is far from cool and Quentin hoped it would never  
change.

"It can always be useful."

"Deal."

"It is so easy." Ava laughed so lightheartedly it made Sara smile.

"I know but in my defense you cast a spell on me."

"It would explain a lot of things."

"Like what?" Sara asked clueless.

"Like why you're interested in someone boring like me. I've been bullied for almost three years now because I'm not cool like the rest of you. But here you are, being nice to me."

"I hate it when you think like that." Sara took her hand and entwined their fingers. "Don't let them make you feel like you're boring because I know you better than they do and trust me you're such a beautiful soul. You're passionate and a hardworker that's why you have good grades, not because you're boring. That's bullshit. It is two great qualities they don't posses, all they have is jealousy. You're going to go so far Ava, you'll deserve it. Everything you've endured during high school will be worth the person you'll become and I'll be proud of everything you are going to  
achieve."

How Sara could find the exact words Ava needed was a mystery to Ava. She didn't know what to answer. She finally decided a kiss was a good answer.

"Yas! Now tell me, what pizza do you want?"

x

Sara had tried to change the living room into a cinema. It wasn't exactly the same but once again she did her best.

"What do you want to watch?"

"What do you have?"

"Hmm let's see, American Sniper? I love that movie but I doubt you do."

"Yup sorry."

"My sister bought Titanic but please say no. I mean it's not that I don't like it but it's so depressing, that's not what I want for tonight."

"Look for something romantic tonight then." Ava teased. She knew it was not Sara's favorite kind of movie.

"Is Wonder Woman romantic enough?"

"I guess so." Ava answered as she settle on the couch, soon joined by Sara.

The movie started but even though it was one of Sara's favorite, she couldn't care less. All she knew was she loved resting her head on Ava's shoulder. She raised her head and kissed her cheek.

"You're beautiful." She said with a voice full of admiration.

Of course Ava blushed.

"You're beautiful too."

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

"Come on." Ava rolled her eyes. "I do."

"So I can hold your hand whenever I want, even at school?"

Even though they were together, they never showed any sign of it at school so far.

"I thought you didn't want people to know?"

"What?!"

"You never told anyone."

"I didn't know if it was okay for you to tell them you're a lesbian. I don't care whether they know or not. I don't care about them anymore. I care about what I feel and what I want. This is my life not theirs, and I want you in my life. I want to hold you and kiss as much as I want. But only if you want too."

"I do. I'm glad it wasn't a matter of, you know... I'm glad you're not ashamed of showing you're dating me."

"Even if I was that dumb, I would kick my ass myself because we don't have much time left. We can spend our whole days together for now but in a few months you'll leave for college. We'll only see each other during week end I guess so I'm not going to waste my time for such a stupid reason."

"I didn't think about that." Ava whispered. For the first time in three years she didn't want to leave this place to go to college. "Do I have to go?"

"Yes you do! Just, don't forget about me okay?" Sara joked but there was a hint of sincerity.

"Silly. Okay I won't if you won't."

"We need to sceal the deal." Sara grinned before she literaly jumped on Ava who was now lying under her, undergoing countless kisses from her girlfriend.

Ava's hands hesitantly, slowly, went down and stopped on Sara's ass who tensed and the second later was at the very end of the couch.

"By sceal the deal I didn't mean..."

"Oh sorry, I shouldn't have concluded such a thing." Ava didn't dare to get closer to Sara.

"Do you want to do it?"

"Do you?"

"For the first time I get what not being ready means." Sara admited. She had been too excited to be scared the first time.

"Oh." The girlfriend couldn't hide her disappointment.

"It's not you. Well it is you but it's not what you think. I don't know how to. I've never have a relationship like ours before. I've had boyfriends yes but it was never so deep. I realize now, it was never love. Are the rules different when you love the one you're making love with? And you're a girl, it's a new territory for me."

"Oh." Ava repeated but the tone was different. She was surprised. "I don't have the answer, it's a new territory for me too. Do you think we should try?"

"If that doesn't bother you, just kissing is fine by me tonight. I want it to be more natural you know."

"Me too." Ava agreed. She lied down again. "But what are you waiting for?" She grinned. She didn't have to tell her twice. "I love you too." She said between two kisses.

x

When Quentin and Laurel came back home they found Sara and Ava sleeping on the couch. Laurel would tease her sister later and ask her if Ava was a good mattress. Obviously she hadn't followed her advice and nothing happened tonight. She never thought Sara would love someone so much.

"They're cute." Laurel said.

"Believe it or not but for a second I thought they would... you know... they're together after all. Honestly I would have never let you and your boyfriend alone in my house."

"Yeah I know that." Laurel retorted. "They're not there yet dad."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter? Who knows ;)
> 
> Sorry if you're disappointed nothing happened :p


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My computer came back from the dead!! :D twice actually (Do I have a Sara Lance computer? :o) I had to come back from the dead too after Sara's birthay present to Ava. To be honest I'm still not over it x) Isn't it my birthday today? 
> 
> Anyway, it's finally done, it took me the whole day to finish it. I hope it is worth the wait.

"Are you really sure you want to do this?" Ava asked her girfriend. For some reason she was afraid for Sara. She knew what it was like to be rejected by the whole school and she didn't want this for Sara.

"Are you?"

"It's not really about me but about what they'll think of you."

"Aves," Sara rolled her eyes with a sigh. "It is about you. I'm not going to ignore you for them. I told you I don't care anymore."

"They can be mean. I know what I'm talking about."

"I know Aves, but I won't hide from them just because they don't like you. I don't like them either so... I will hold your hand and I will kiss you, whether they like it or not."

Sara's determination to show people they were together made her blush. She was happy like never before. No one ever put her before their own interest. Her mother had always told her to act like this or like that to be thought highly of people. She'd always had a rule to follow. But not anymore. Now she had someone who accepted and liked her exactly as she was.

"Thank you. But you forgot kissing is forbidden at school."

"Like I care." The shorter girl grinned devilishly before she attacked her girlfriend with tickles."

"Stop it!"

To Ava's surprise she did stop, but only to grab her face to kiss her. That part didn't surprise her.

"This is not negociable Aves: I will kiss you while I can. The end of high school will come soon enough. So they'll know, they will change their mind about me and God knows I won't care."

"Fine."

"Besides, you need to break the rule at least once."

"Fine." She repeated, rolling her eyes with a smile. She leant to reach Sara's lips with her own. It was a soft kiss unlike the previous one. She made it last because it was such a perfect way to break the rule. She made it last so long it was Sara who broke the kiss.

"We should go now or we're going to be late. I guess it has never happened to you before." Sara winked. "But as much as I'd like to see that, I can't afford myself to do that anymore."

"And I like it that way."

When they headed to the building they could already see some students watching them, almost in shock to see such a pair, and Sara couldn't be more proud.

  
Like they'd expected their entrance in the hall didn't go unnoticed. Some people stopped talking while others started whispering, but soon the place was completely quiet. Was it because they were the first openly gay couple in this school? Because Sara was making sure they understood what kind of relationship they had. She didn't just hold her hand, she entwined their fingers. She called her babe in a quite suggestive question:

"Hey babe, can I have a ' _private lesson_ ' after school?" It wasn't hard to hear it in such a quiet place. Then she whispered but still loudly. "I'd like it very, very much. Please?"

Ava blushed of course, she wasn't prepared for this. She knew Sara was defying the school and she admired her for that because it was something she would have never thought about in her wildest dreams, but now, with Sara by her side she could.

She knew Sara's was a coveted award by some guys. Her casualness towards teachers, the way she used to play during soccer games, until she got fired for her behavior. They also knew she could kick their asses and for some reason it was another reason to love her. That girl was a badass. But everybody here knew Sara only dated older guys, mostly guys she meets during parties. Some had tried to ask her out at first but it was always a no. She was still holding many hearts but she had always been clear; she was not interested.

Yet now, just like that, Sara entered the hall, holding the hand of someone as young as them, that someone being a girl, that girl being Ava. Watching their faces, Ava was proud to be the chosen one. She was never the chosen one. She knew what they were thinking, why Sara would chose a loser like her? But despite what she had herself thought before, she was not a loser. Yes, she was someone worth loving. Sara had proved her so.

"I thought you'd never ask." She answered. "Besides, we both know you need a looooot of lessons."

"Indeed I do." She kissed her cheek. "See you later babe."

x

 

The repercussion was immediate. The word Dyke was painted on her locker. She knew who it was. There was a signature. Kind of. A photo. It had been taken at Kate's house during a sleepover. They were drunk that night and at some point and God knows why, they decided to take pictures of themselves. It'd been like a dare to remove more and more cloths. Sara doesn't shy away from dares. And she'd found it so fun. Probably alcohol. But she had thought Kate would have deleted those pictures by now.

Sara's first reaction was to tear it off, and that's when she noticed another word, smaller but still here: slut.

Then she remembered that Kate had pictures of her completely naked so it could have been worse. At least she was wearing underwear on this one. But the look she had on her face didn't help; she was slightly bitting her index finger with a fake shy look. This pose had been Kate's idea.

She just hoped Ava hadn't seen this photo.

"I'm sorry." Damn it, here she was. "It's my fault. We shouldn't have-"

"No it's not. You warned me."

"I know but-"

"Aves, she can try to make my life a hell, I'll still be happier now." She was trying very hard to fool Ava but the almost imperceptibly trembling sound in her voice betrayed her. "I have everything I want. I still can't believe how great my relationship with my dad is now, and my sister too, we became closer. And I have you. Nothing of this would have ever happened if I was still   
her friend."

"I'm still worried."

"Well, isn't it too late now?" Sara asked as she took her hand.

x

Later during the day Sara was called into the Dean's office. She was annoyed because she had not do anything to justify such thing. She used to be a regular visitor but she was working very hard on her behavior now.

"I didn't do-" Sara stopped as she noticed his father in the office. "anything." She finished. He didn't look pleased with her. "Did I do something?" She asked almost sheepishly.

"We're not here to talk about what you did."

"Though we are going to have a serious conversation tonight you and me." Quentin added.

"Your locker. Any idea who wrote this?"

"Yes Sara, any idea who has such photos of you?" So that was why her father was mad. She blushed furiously. She wished he would never know about this.

"I had a fight with a friend that's all. Former friend."

"His name." Quentin was sure it was one of Sara's exes. He didn't know his daughter was the sexto kind of girl and he hated that.

"It's Kate. I had a sleepover that night. We took pictures but I didn't know she'd kept them. I deleted mine the following day, it was just a game." She avoided her father's face so she didn't notice the sligh relief in his eyes.

"Kate?" the Dean repeated, reminding her he had too many students to know their names.

"Kate Emilson."

"Thank you."

"Aren't you going to look for evidence before doing anything? Because I could be lying."

"Now why would you lie about such thing? Don't you want the person who did this to pay the consequences?"

"I was just saying." She shrugged.

"Sara! Do you find it funny?"

"Am I laughing dad? I know it's not funny but what do you want me to do?" Her anger finally came out. 

"Tell me why she did this to begin with." He ordered and Sara felt like she was in an interrogation room.

"I told you, we had a fight. She doesn't like the fact that I spend my time with Ava."

"She did that because you spend some time with Ava? Seriously?" He raised an eyebrow, hardly believing her.

"She didn't like it before and now we're dating it's getting worse. Maybe she's homophobic or something, I don't know."

The Dean seemed surprised to hear Sara's statement. Like others in this school he had not suspected a thing. She knew Ava had helped her with her grades but he didn't know there was something more. Ava was one of his best student and Sara used to be one of the worst. Sara looked at him, she couldn't say exactly whether she was dreading his reaction or not. But he made no comment.

"Well she targeted the wrong person." Quentin said as he got up. Was it the cop talking or her dad? She couldn't tell. Both she guessed, and both meant Kate was in trouble.

x

"Why are you so mad at me?" Sara asked her father as they got into the car, hoping he would calm down soon.

"Why?! You can't let someone take pictures of you naked!"

"I wasn't completely naked on this one!"

"On this one?! Are you kidding?! So she does have a picture of you naked?"

"Dad, I never imagined she would show them. I thought it was okay if it was just her because it's not like she had never seen me naked before. We used to shower in the same locker room remember? And... I was drunk." She admitted.

"Yes, another point we'll have to talk about. You are too young to drink, aren't you aware of this?" To be honest he knew she was drinking from time to time, but he'd been a teenager too once so he'd let it go. And they didn't have the best relationship with her the last couple of years, she wouldn't have listened anyway.

"I've always been cautious about where to drink and how much. I know my limits."

"Cautious, huh? Your whole school saw you half naked!" He wasn't really mad at her, he just hated the fact that someone hurt her daughter. She didn't seem hurt, which was something at least. "Just don't give them another way to hurt you, okay?" He was soft this time.

"Okay. I didn't know I gave her one though."

"Have you ever sent such thing to your boyfriends?" He was serious again. He knew what kind of boyfriend she used to have and it wouldn't surprise him if one of them had ever asked her. Or worse, asked her a video.

"Dad!"

"This is not something you can do okay? It can be dangerous."

"Of course I've never done that! But I thought I was safe with Kate."

  
When they finally got home Ava was already there. They were supposed to come back home together but Sara had texted her she wouldn't be able to make it because she was with her dad.

"Hey Aves." Sara greeted her.

"Hey. Something wrong?"

"Oh no, don't worry, it's just the Dean, I think he missed me."

"Yes something is actually wrong, it's about her locker. We have to do something about it. Such behavior is unacceptable. In fact you need to file a complaint."

"What? No. I told you it was just a joke." Sara argued.

"Are you defending her?" Ava asked, surprised Sara would not agree immediatly.

"No, I'm not but don't you think it's going to go too far if I file a complaint?" Sara couldn't forget they used to be friends, even if she didn't approve what she'd done.

"Did you really say it was just a joke?!" Both girls were scared he was going to explode. He could be really scary sometimes. Have you any idea how many parents came to me at the precinct to file a complaint because their child had to endure this kind of ' _j_ _oke'_ and just couldn't take it anymore?? Can you imagine? I can't. It is the worst way to lose a child and it's very difficult for me to deal with such cases. Each time I can't help but think what if it was my daughters?"

Sara looked away. She had never thought about this. She felt disgusting because she had in the past been mean to people. Even to Ava.

"I'm sorry." Sara's voice was trembling. She almost jumped in surprise when she felt a soft hand slide inside hers. Unlike Quentin, she knew what she was really apologizing for. And she'd almost crossed the line too.

"Don't be, I got carried away. I've heard so many stories and now it happens to you and..." He took a deep breath before he continued: "Anyway, I should have known you are too strong to be affected." He smiled and Ava squeezed Sara's hand, hoping she would not break. She even started to pray when he added: "I think it's a selfish act, leaving your loved ones behind and for the rest of their lives they will be hunted by the idea that they could have done something."

"And that's right." Ava said firmly. "Nobody wants to die just for fun. Is there any loved ones when life hurts so bad all you want is for it to end?"

"Aves." Sara tried to calm her down but Ava didn't, determined to defend her.

"Weren't they supposed to see the pain in their eyes? Weren't they supposed to see them at all?"

"Maybe they don't want their loved ones to know how bad they feel. Maybe they're hiding their feelings." Sara intervened.

"Ava?" Quentin asked surprised. She was usually calm and shy.

"I'm sorry. I think it's too easy to blame them without taking into account their despear." She sighed. "I'm going to do my homework now, come with me?" She asked Sara who gladly accepted the way out.

x

"You didn't have to do this. He's right after all. I didn't think about him when I decided to... I thought it would be better for me but..." The tears she had been holding back finally escaped.

"I meant it, it is NOT selfish."

"Yes it is."

"So you would live for others no matter how bad and terrible you feel? No. Life shouldn't be a burden." Ava pointed out. "And that day when I saw you in the bathroom, I saw an hesitating girl. So even if you think, like your father, that it is a selfish act, you were not completely selfish." She took her girlfriend's hand and squeezed it gently.

"Do you think I have to tell him?" Sara asked in a silent whisper.

"No you don't have to. You can, but you don't have to." Sara lied on her bed and looked at the ceiling like every time her feelings dragged her down. She knew this ceiling by heart now. "Are you okay? And don't tell me what happened at school didn't affect you. You can fool your father but not me. I know what it's like and you can't just be okay." When she understood Sara would not say anything she continued, "It'll get better I promise. Us against the world remember?"

"Like you told my dad, you should do your homework." Sara closed her eyes.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?"

"No!" Of course she didn't want her to go, she just didn't want to talk. "Stay."

With a small smile Ava nodded. She knew that pain too well.

"For what it's worth, it's the first time in my life that I've felt brave. It was just a word to me before. It's scary but I like the feeling. So thank you."

"For what it's worth, you're a great partner."

"Am I? All I did was to stand next to you. You did all the work." She pointed out.

"You are." Sara nodded.

"Thank you. Believe it or not it means a lot." Ava said before she grabbed her schoolbag. Because she knew as soon as Sara would want to talk she wouldn't be able to focus on her homework. It was the right moment.

"What do you think of me?" the girl on the bed finally asked. When Ava turned her back to face her she noticed Sara had covered her eyes with her arm.

The last time she had seen her like this was when they met.

"What?" She left the desk to sit next to her. She hated to see her girlfriend like that. Especially since it was only because she said to everyone she was her girlfriend.

"Do you think I'm a slut? For taking a picture like that." Sara couldn't lose Ava's faith in her, she needed it to help her own grow.

"A slut? For that? Tell me you're not seriously asking me this." Too late for her homework now and for the first time she didn't care. She removed Sara's arm from her face. "Hey look at me, taking pictures doesn't make you a slut. Having sex with people doesn't make you a slut. You can tell me you slept with every boy at school I would still not see you as a slut. I mean, if you like it why would you have to be judged for it? I won't like it though, that's for sure. So no Sara you are NOT a slut." She entwined their fingers. "Kate just wants to hurt you but she won't and you know why? Because you're not as weak as she thinks. You're not as weak as YOU think." Ava started to play with a lock on Sara's face. She knew her now. Almost by heart. She was indeed strong, as long as there was someone to remind her. She wanted to be that someone.

"You think so?" The tears had stopped.

"I know it." Ava nodded with a smile.

"Thank you. For the record, I didn't sleep with every boy at school." Sara was finally contaminated by her girlfriend's smile. "Do you... Do you want to have 'the exes conversation'?" She had   
always had this conversation with her boyfriends.

"Only if you want to." Ava shrugged. Clearly she didn't give it a damn.

"Only if it's necessary." It was the first time she was not asked to have this conversation.

"Why would it be? I've never had anyone in my life so that's pretty much it for me and I am Sara 2.0's first. Your exes, they can keep the old Sara, mine is just so much better."

"True. All thanks to you."

"Yup. And because I help you to become better I'll have to ask you to do your homework too."

"Yes boss."

x

It was late when Sara entered her father's bedroom. She had been hesitating for a while and finally took her decision.

"Dad, can I tell you something? But you have to promise me you won't judge me first okay?" She knew it wouldn't be easy, but she hadn't expected it to be this hard.

"Of course I won't honey. What's wrong?"

"You were wrong about me when you said I was strong to face any bad situation."

"Come here." He said softly. "Strong doesn't mean invicible you know. It's okay if you're not. Actually you can't be." She knew he didn't really understood the meaning of her words, he just thought she was sad.

"Don't blame Ava for earlier."

"I don't. Actually I'm worried about her. It looked like it was personal. I know her situation with her parents is not good. Do you think she could...?"

"I've never told you how we properly met. I've noticed Ava since I arrived in this school. More or less. I quickly made friends and she was their favorite person to mess with. And I followed them. Or at least I didn't do anything to stop them. It's pretty much the same thing."

"Excuse me?! You did what?!"

"I know, I'm not proud of myself."

"That's why it was so personal to her isn't it?" He concluded with a sigh. He couldn't believe his youngest daughter was a bully. Or used to be. "No offense but why does she like someone who used to treat her badly?"

"It's not why it's personal to her. She was bullied but she's smarter than that. She focused on her future. It's just a matter of time for her, she has a great career waiting for her. It was hard for her nonetheless. But it's me."

"It's you?" Quentin raised an eyebrow, trying to understand. "What do you mean?"

"When we met, and by that I mean first talk to each other, I was going to do something that had been going on my mind for a while. I was just so tired of everything around me. I was tired of myself."

"You?! You wanted to commit suicide??" He froze. Like he had said before, he considered it to be the worst way to lose someone. Sara wanted to leave the room. Was it really a good idea after all? "But why?"

"A lot of reasons. Max had dumped me the previous week, saying I was just a dumb blonde and my look was the only good thing about me. I believed him because my teachers kept repeating me I won't go far   
in my life. You were always desappointed in me and let's be honest, mom left because of me."

"What can possibly makes you think she left because of you?"

"I heard you two arguing about me. She left a few days later."

"It has nothing to do with you. If we argued about your grades it is simply because we couldn't have a conversation without arguing. That is why she left. We decided it would be for the best."

"But she called Laurel once. She never called me."

"Once. She probably needed something and wouldn't talk to me directly. We were not able to love each other like we should have so don't blame yourself." She didn't say anything so he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "So basically one day I came home unaware of the fact that I've been this close to lose my daughter." He had seen so many parents devastated but only now he realized how painful it was.

"I'm sorry."

"Sara no matter what you think, I care about. Your life means so much more than mine to me. And your sister, well your sister took her big sister role very seriously since the day you were born. She has always been looking out for you even when you didn't notice. Especially with your boyfriends. They all had a warning from her." He smiled. It was true, Laurel was protective. How would she have reacted? Just like him probably.

"Really? Why didn't she tell me? I've always thought she wanted a better sister than me."

"I don't know, but I can assure you she would never replace you with another sister."

"I'm glad Ava stopped me. After all we did to her, she told me my life was worth living. She said I was smart and their was some qualities I have she admired. She could have just let me on my own for what I did. But somehow she saw something inside me. Something I didn't know was there. Something good. That's when I knew I wanted to be her friend."She took a deep breath. "So don't worry about what they're going to do to me at school, I know I'll be fine."

"Of course I'm worried. How can you be so sure?"

"I'm not alone anymore."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> College is coming ;)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys :) it feels like it's been an eternity but I'm here again.
> 
> I need Avalance to come back :'(

For the first time Sara sneaked into her bedroom to join Ava for the night. She doubted there would be any repercusion anyway because her father would understand. It was Ava's last night here. Tomorrow she would leave for college and though Ava had waited for this for a long, long time, now she wasn't as excited as before.

"Hey you." Sara whispered as she closed the door behind her.

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Because you know me too well."

"Yes, but I thought you had stopped breaking rules." Ava teased her but gave Sara some space to join her in the bed.

"Not this time." She smiled but the smile slowly faltered. "I'm going to miss you." She took her hand and entwined their fingers. Ava closed her eyes at the contact. Of course Sara would have to come and make it even more difficult.

"I'll miss you too." She kissed her forehead. "Who would have thought I would not be eager to go where I spent most of my life wanting to go."

"Come on, you'll like it there. These places are made for you. Studies and studies and studies, that's your jam."

"I know, I'm not saying I won't like it, just that I'm not as thrilled as I used to think I would be."

"I'll come to see you every weekend." Sara said with determination in her voice.

"Don't be ridiculous, it's 3 hours from here."

"So what? Not enough to prevent me from seeing you."

"We can still facetime."

"I can't do that during facetime!" She grabbed Ava's face and kissed her, making her giggle. "You won't make me change my mind."

"I know but it's going to cost you a fortune. I mean, I'll pay too but I won't really make money so..."

"No it's on me. I'll find a job after school so it won't be a problem." Sara sounded hopeful even though Ava wasn't convinced.

"But you said you wanted to go to college too. If that's true you're going to have to study very hard. I won't be here to help you anymore. It's okay, once we're done with our studies we can go back to this life we have now." Ava wasn't fooling her girlfriend, she was as sad as her.

"Long distance relationship huh? We both know it usually doesn't work. I'm not sure there will be a go back to this life we have now like you said." She said in a whisper.

"So what, you think we will breakup?"

"I don't want to. But maybe eventually, with time, things can change and we will realize it is for the best to go our own ways. Especially for you."

"What do you mean especially for me?"

"You have a bright future ahead of you, you can't always keep looking back for me." Ava had only seen her so vulnerable on a few occasions.

"Sara, do you know why I work so hard at school?" Ava asked softly as she started to play with one of Ava's lock. Sara shook her head and she continued. "Because I didn't have anything else to do. The only person I really talked to was my mom and to be honest we've never talked a lot. I had no friends. Studying became my way out. So yes I started to think about my career when I was young and it was my main focus in life. Now it's different, there's you. Anyway, why would I have to chose between a career and a relationship? I want both and for that I'd better not lose you, okay?"

"Can it be over already? Your studies I mean" Sara pouted. "Waiting is not my thing."

"Yup, I know that. I'm not saying it will be easy, but we'll survive the long distance relationship." Ava smiled reassurantly.

"You promise?"

"I promise. With time, we'll get used to it."

"If you say so."

  
They didn't sleep despite the tiredness. Instead they kept talking, knowing perfectly that starting tomorrow things would be different.

x

Ava had barely been surprised to learn that Sara's father and Laurel also wanted to accompany her to her 'new home'. It wasn't really a home but she'd live here for the next three years. But before she goes she needed to get back some of her stuff at her house. She still had the key so she could come whenever she wanted. She hoped her mother wouldn't be home, she didn't want to see her. She probably didn't either. But she was here.

"What are you doing here?" Her mother asked, making Ava jumped because she had not seen her.

"I need some of my books for college. I'm leaving this afternoon."

"So you're still going." She said, indicating she was not completely desappointed in her. Actually her voice was soft and a small smile appeared on her face. "I've been too harsh, I admit it. I shouldn't have."

What. Was. Happening. Was she accepting her? Did she change her mind?

"I mean, after all this time spent alone it's not surprising that you think about your first friend in a different way."

"You think I love her because she's the first person who is nice to me? Or because she's my only friend?" Ava rolled her eyes. "Are you going to tell me it's just a phase?"

"I think you'll come to your senses eventually and realize she's just your friend. A good friend you can count on yes, but still just a friend. And since she obviously has feelings for you you concluded you were gay too because you want to be like her and make her happy. I should have known, I'm sorry honey."

"Mom, I AM gay. My feelings are real. There is something special between us. It's not friendship."

"Then what is it? You're too young to know what love is sweetheart." Her soft voice was infuriating Ava.

"What about you? Do you know what it is? I don't remember seeing you loving anyone. Did you even love my dad?" Ava's tone was raising. But who was she to say she was mistaken and she didn't really love Sara?

"I did."

Truth be told Ava had not expected her mother to answer that question. She never talked about her dad.

"What happened?" It was not about Sara anymore. She wanted to know more about her father. She always have.

"I didn't want him to be in your life."

"What?!"

"Before I could tell him I was pregnant he broke up with me."

"If he broke up with you before he knew about me it doesn't he wouldn't have take responsibilities."

"That's not the problem. He said he wasn't me, it was him. He'd met someone. I thought okay but this is your child too, I won't do it on my own."

"Then why?" Ava couldn't define what she was feeling right now.

"Because he told me that that someone was a man and I didn't want my child to be like him." She spat. "But it's okay, I'll wait until you see who you really are." She was smiling now. "After all, we all make mistakes when we're young."

"Well then Sara is the best mistake I've ever made. So basically, you preventated me from seeing my father for all my life because he's gay?! Because he would influence me? He didn't have to, I am a lesbian there's nothing else to say. Actually the only person who influenced me, or should I say opened my eyes, is Sara." Ava was shocked. All this time thinking he was a horrible man and maybe it was for the best if they never met. He was just gay. "I want to meet him. It's too late for me anyway, I'm already 'infected'"

"Ava, I'm trying really hard." She said through her teeth.

"Don't. I'm not going to be who you want me to be. Tell me his name." She asked not so gently.

"I don't remember, it's been too long."

Ava couldn't tell whether she was lying or not but obviously she wouldn't get any answer. So she just sigh in frustration and left.

x

"So this is goodbye." Sara sighed as she sat on Ava's bed. Her bedroom was bigger than Sara had expected and that for a reason she didn't like. There was another bed in the room. Even her didn't share a room with her (except for the previous night) and she was her girlfriend. "Do you know anything about your roomate?"

"Nope, never met her. At least I know for sure it's not Kate." She grinned. "No way she could end up here."

"True. I anyone treats you badly just call me and I'll kick his ass myself so you won't be in trouble."

"Great excuse for you to come." Ava winked and sat on her lap, wrapping her arms around Sara's neck.

"Any excuse is good."

"Does 'Sara I'm lost in this huge building please help me' count?"

"Definitely." Sara nodded.

"Sara it's time." They heard Laurel said loudly in the corridor. She had gave them some privacy but it was time to go now.

"Facetime tonight?" Sara asked with a sheepish look which Ava found cute.

"Facetime." She kissed her quickly, expecting Sara to protest and ask for a better kiss. She did protest.

"Come on!" Laurel entered the room almost exasperated. When she found them kissing she sighed. "Girls you'll make babies later." She rolled eyes and repressed a smile when the two younger girls blushed.

"We were not-" Sara wanted to defend herself.

"Dad is waiting in the car."

Sara followed her sister after a final goodbye to her girlfriend.

"Hey don't look at me like that, dad doesn't like to wait. I saved your ass."

Sara knew she was right, she couldn't make them wait any longer, but she pouted anyway. She wanted to stay. She wanted to be the girl who shares her bedroom.

"For your information, we were not having sex." The little sister mumbled. "And we can't make babies."

"Oh really? I'm so shocked right now." Laurel laughed. "Have you even took the next step with her?" Her sly smile indicated she knew the answer.

"Shut up!" She blushed even more than before. "We talked about this actually."

"And?" Of course Laurel wanted to know more.

"And you don't need to know."

"Come oooon." She pleaded. "You know you have to share everything with your dear sister."

"Nope."

"Fine, but you keep me update." She winked.

"Oh my God you must be kidding me. Okay okay, I'll tell you." But honestly, wouldn't have she come to see her sister and tell her on her own?

x

The first few weeks they used their computer to talk, being able to see each other to talk was better. No, it was necessary. With time their conversations didn't last as long. Then they just called each other. Of course it wasn't because they didn't want talk but they didn't have time anymore. Ava had a lot of homework. Being the first always mattered to her and even now she was fighting for this place. Sara was working hard too; after high school she had extra tutoring, she always worked in a bar 2 days a week and there was also her training.

Because of that they barely have time to talk to each other. They only texted now.

But this weekend would be special, Sara would spend the whole weekend with her girlfriend. This is why she found a job; to pay for the train. Since Her weekend was free she decided to visit her. Everytime she would have a free weekend she would visit her.

She couldn't erase her bright smile as she walked on the street. She decided to buy her some flowers.

"Special occasion?" The florist asked her, seeing her radiant smile.

"Yes, I'm seeing my girlfriend today. It's been a while. Like an eternity."

"I hope she'll enjoy your gift." She said sincerely.

"Me too." And she left, even more excited tan ever.

  
Still smiling, Sara knocked on the door, ready to hug Ava tighter than ever. It seemed that the seconds were hours. How long will she still have to wait?   
The door finally opened but it wasn't Ava standing here in front of her. Probably her roomate. She was tall with long black hair, eyes you could easyly get lost in, a perfect golden tan and well to be honest great curves. That girl was hot, there was no other word.  
Sara's brain stopped for a moment until the girl spoke.

"Yes?"

"Hum I... I'm here to see Ava."

"Oh, come in." Her face became more friendly. "Aves," she shouted. "Someone's here for you." Since Ava didn't respond she went into the bathroom.

Suddenly a cry of surprise echoed followed by a "What did we say about privacy?!"

If Sara wasn't sure whether she liked her or not, now she new. Did she just go into the bathroom knowing Ava was in there? Did she just call her Aves? And if they already talked about privacy, does it mean she usually comes and goes when Ava is taking a shower? Have she seen her naked?

How close were they? Because Ava didn't sound outraged or even annoyed.

"Sara!" Ava jumped into her arms and wasSara so lost in her thoughts she almost fell. "Are these for me?"

"Who else?" Sara kissed her possesively, almost to the point of making Ava uncomfortable. "I've missed you Aves."

"Me too."

"Oh so you're the girlfriend."

"Indeed." Sara was trying to keep a friendly smile but she wasn't sure she succeded.

"Justine this is Sara, my girlfriend but you already figured that out, Sara this Justine, my roomate, which I'm sure you figured that out too." Ava laughed softly. She wasn't blind, she'd seen Sara's signs of jealousy but she ignored them for now even though it was obvious they would have to talk about this.

"Nice to meet you. Now that I think about it, I've never seen your face before. I even asked myself once if you really existed or if it was just an excuse to stay away from boys. Do you even have a picture of her?"

It was true, there was no sign of her on her bedside table. Sara actually had two pictures of them together on hers.

"Nice to meet you too." Did Sara mean it? Not really.

"Thank God she does exist." Ava kissed her cheek and dragged her to her bed. "So tell me, how are you? How's school? And work?"

"Fine I guess." Sara shrugged. "I mean, I work hard at school but I miss you and sometimes it's hard to concentrate."

"Yeah I know that feeling. I'm so happy you could make it here. Will you sleep here too or?" Her eyes were pleading. "I mean okay my bed is not really big but..."

"Glad you ask. I'm not sure I'll sleep anyway." Sara fixed her girlfriend's messy wet hair and gave her a fond look.

"Wait," Justine said from the other side of the room. "Do I have to find somewhere else to sleep because you want to do durty things."

"Shut up silly."

Would tonight be the night when Sara texts her sister and says she finally had sex with her?

"You don't have to go anywhere, we'll behave." Ava added.

Was Sara desappointed? Maybe a bit.

"Cool. So I guess you won't come with me to the party tonight? It's too bad but I get it, your girlfriend is here." She shrugged in a way that said you could come anyway.

"You go to parties now?" Sara raised an eyebrow. How much have things changed already?

"It's not as bad as I thought, especially when you have people to hang on with. This is definitely not high school here."

"Okay." Sara simply said and Ava saw her jealousy on her face again. Sara shook her head. "I'm taking you to the restaurant tonight. It's on me."

"Come on Sara you already paid the train ticket."

"I decide how I spend my money. Aves this is the reason why I work." She lied on the bed and opened her arms. "Come on, cuddle tiiiime."

"Oh my God I'm out. You two lovebirds make me sick." Disgust painted Justine's face.

"Oh poor thing, don't be jealous." Ava retorted and stuck out her tongue.

"Remember you said you'll behave." She said and closed the door.

"Sorry about that," Ava laughed. "She's always like this."

"You two get along really great."

"Well, she's my roomate so we talk a lot. It helps."

"And you go to parties..."

Ava thought she could handle the jealousy but she wasn't so sure anymore.

"Does that bother you?" Ava sat up. "I finally made friends and really it means a lot to me. I've never been part of a group before. Why does it look like it bothers you?" There was no smile on her face now.

"It doesn't bother me!" Sara protested but it was true. It bothered her that Ava belongued to a group she didn't belong herself. It was not just the two of them anymore.

"Why do you get to make friends and I don't?"

Sara didn't answer. She was being so selfish and she hated herself for that. She wanted that jealousy to go away, to leave her alone. Because it was better this way, Ava was happy and it should be all that mattered. An internal battle raged into Sara's mind between reason and jealousy. She could have won this battle, just apologize and everything would get back to normal, except that soon fear fought alongside jealousy. The fear that never left since Ava moved here. The fear to lose her.

"She's really hot." Probably the most stupid thing to say but Sara felt trapped between Ava's completely logical reaction and her stupid mind. "You look happier without me. I knew it would end up like this."

"I'm not happier without you! They are my friends, you're my girlfriend!" She threw her hands in despair. Where they really fighting right after they reunited? "I've spent all my life imagining what it was like to have friends and now I know and I love it. And now what? Are you going to make me chose?"

"No, of course not." She wanted to slap herself. Why was it so difficult to repress this stupid emotion? "Can we just forget about this?"

"Depends. Will you be jealous of anyone who talks to me?"

"I won't. I promise. You're right." She wish she could forget about it too but she had a feeling it was something she would never be able to fight.

"Good. I really don't want to fight with you Sara." Ava said softly before she lied down next to her. She held her tightly and Sara felt even more aweful for ruining everything with her jealousy.

"Sorry." She said quietly. "Maybe we could go to the party tonight so I can meet your friends." It was a way to say I'm okay with you having friends, which deep down was true but right now she was not thinking clearly. It was also a bad idea.

"Maybe tomorrow, tonight I want you for myself." She used that soft tone Sara loved so much. It was exactly what she wanted and her worries left her. For now.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure I'm satisfied with this, I had more ideas but it was becoming to long so it will be for the next chapter. Is it a spoiler to say troubles are coming? Or is it too obvious? :p
> 
> Another spoiler; Laurel will have to save the day for her little sister
> 
> I'll try to update the next chapter as soon as I can ;)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Change of plans, I told you that Laurel would have to save the day for her sister but the chapter was getting longer than usual so it'll be for next time.

The rest of the weekend was surprisingly great despite the aweful start. Sara didn't make any comment about Ava's friends when she'd met them but she had never left her side, staying as close as she could, never letting go of her hand. Ava was  _her_  girlfriend.  
Ava could have felt trapped, unable to escape Sara's possessiveness. She didn't. After all those years alone, having someone holding on to her, even too hard, was something she was grateful for. Sara would clearly not run away from her.   
She had always thought that when she has a boyfriend (she used to think the love of her life was a man) she would have to be someone else to keep him because obviously she was everything but interesting. With Sara she didn't have to do anything. So no she didn't feel trapped at all.

Sara, Ava, her roomate and a few friends were reunited in their bedroom. Ava was sitting on the floor, between Sara's legs, her head resting against her girlfriend's shoulder. Of course Sara had her arms wrapped aroud Ava.  
From time to time Ava would turn her head, a silent request for a kiss.

"So how did you guys meet?" One of the friends asked.

Sara frozed. She didn't like to talk about this part of her life. This moment of weakness that almost cost her her life. But Ava grinned.

"Sara was the hottest soccer player of the team. I mean, you  _had_  to be blown away when she played. You're not supposed to be sexy when you're covered with sweat and mudd."

Sara couldn't help but ask herself if Ava meant it. She had played soccer once after all. And she did ended up covered with sweat and mudd. A lot. Had she really found it sexy? A smile appeared on her face.

"Let me guess, you joined the team so could watch her take a shower."

Sara bursted into laughter. This is the last this Ava would ever do. First because sport is not her thing and second, she's way too shy to do that.

"Of course I didn't." She blushed.

"Could have been fun. But seriously don't tell me that you, Ava Sharpe, managed to seduce someone who was probably under the spotlight. I guess she was not the only one after you, right Sara?"

"Actually I was the one after her." Sara answered with a smile, relieved she didn't have to talk about how they really met.

"Wow, who thought you could do anything other than study."

"You're just jealous Laura: I have everything. I'm better than anyone in our prom and I have an awesome girlfriend." Ava grinned with satisfaction. She didn't have everything, she still had to find her father, but they didn't need to know.

"Oh please, I have someone in my life too." The girl named Laura rolled her eyes.

"He can't be better than Sara. She does martial arts." Sara loved to see Ava so proud of her.

"He's a great tennis player."

"She's the most badass person on this earth. She's really great at hardworking. When she wants to, right Sara?"

"All you have to do is to inspire me babe, that's all it takes." Sara kissed the top of her head.

"Laura you have to admit they're cute." The roomate grinned. "As long as you behave." She added.

"Hey we're cute too!" Laura protested. "Mary what do you think?" She seeked for support.

"I'm sorry but Sara is cuter than Jim. Actually I can totally picture her as a sexy soccer player."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Ava asked. "This girl is taken. And since when are you a lesbian?"

"I'm not." She answered. Sara felt relieved for a short moment. She didn't want a lesbian around Ava. "I am a little more... open-minded." She winked.

"What?!"

"You're bisexual? You never told us!"

"No one brought up the subject." She shrugged. "Not my fault if you assumed I was straight."

"well you have a point." Laura admitted.

"Then I repeat," Ava started. "This girl here is taken."

"Oh don't worry, I have someone else in mind." She grinned.

They were all intrigued and wanted to know who it was. Sara didn't know anyone but she wanted a name too, just to be sure it wasn't Ava. She didn't give any.

  
It really wasn't the good time. She was proud of herself, finally being able to relax and fight the jealousy inside her, but she didn't need to learn that someone could flirt with Ava at any time. After all she didn't know her. Maybe she was the kind of girl who had no problem stealing people's boyfriends or girlfriends. But Ava wouldn't be friends with someone like that right? What if she doesn't know? She was paranoid now and she hated it.

"Something wrong babe?" Ava asked worried as the girls left the room.

"Nothing. I just don't want to go back home."

"I don't want either. But it's just a matter of time remember?" She had this lovely smile on her face and those shiny bright eyes that made Sara forget every bad thought. "You and I, I know it'll be worth the wait."

The wait. Ava would wait, not throw herself at the first girl who would ask her out. So what was her problem really? Sara wished she could figure it out so she could work on it.

"Do you really mean what you said about me being the hottest girl of the team?" Sara teased but she wanted to know.

"Well," She started and Sara understood it was a no. "I mean it's probably true but..."

"But?"

"I've never watched a game. All I know is you were once part of the team." She confessed sheepishly and Sara almost rolled her eyes at herself because of course it was such a waste of time for her back then.

"I wouldn't have minded to be in the locker room with you." She whispered with a suggestive tone than made Ava blush.

"Sara." She didn't know what else to say. Her face was speaking for her.

Sara just smiled and kissed her cheek. She didn't want to have sex with Ava right now. Not that she wasn't ready anymore, she definitely was now. She may have done some research. But it wasn't the right time; she wasn't even sure Ava was ready and even if she was Sara didn't want to be in this jealous mess girlfriend state for their first time. She will not make love to Ava just to prove to anyone she was her girlfriend. She needed to put an end to her stupid crisis before.

"But seriously, you'd be hot too covered with mudd."

Ava rolled her eyes and laughed. "Shut up."

x

"Those kisses are the worst." Sara said after their last goodbye kiss.

"Definitely." Ava nodded. "You call me when you're home okay?"

"Okay. Love you babe." Said one last time.

"Love you too." Ava answered before Sara got in the train. She waved at her and soon after the train was gone.

On her way back Ava couldn't help but think she wished she'd stayed longer. Forever. It had been so great to see her again. To touch her, to kiss her and even introduce her to her friends. It was true they'd never seen her before and she was glad to finally prove them she had the best girlfriend in the world.   
For the first time they had the occasion to see another Ava Sharpe. She was not that studious girl they all knew. During this weekend she'd been a madly in love teenager. They didn't expect her to be so much in love with Sara because she barely talked about her. Ava thought it would be a solution to makes things easier. Seeing her again made her understood it was just impossible not to think about her.

"I didn't know she was your type kind of girl." Her roomated teased her when she came back to their bedroom. "I mean, you're rather shy and introverted. I don't know her much but she looks, I don't know... enterprising. She did the first step, didn't she?" She asked with a sly smile. Ava just rolled her eyes and she continued. "I'd say she's a little wild too."

"She's more than a little wild sometimes." Ava nodded with a grin. "It's not that I have a type, I mean I love everything about her, but it's more about our story you know?"

"I heard you argue when she came here. Something wrong between you two?"

"What? Were you spying on us??"

"No, I was in the bathroom and you were not exactly silent. Good to know you can forget about me in seconds."

"Everything's fine between us. She just..." Did Sara wanted her to talk about her insecurities? Would Justine tease Sara about this? "Nevermind. We're fine." She sighed happily and lied down on her bed. Sara's perfume was still here on her pillow. "Aaah, can't wait to see her again."

x

Sara took her head in her hands. Of course she would ruin their first weekend together. Of course she would let her feelings take over when she could have just enjoyed her time with Ava. Ava hadn't gave any reason to be jealous. But all those girls... they belonged to Ava's world. They were all smart and Sara noticed some were bigger nerds than Ava and that's something. She fits just well in her environment and maybe it was what scared Sara so much. It was good for Ava of course, but what if she felt so well there that Sara stopped to be a priority? Will Ava's feelings be as strong as they are now or would she be put aside?

She knew the answer. Ava had told her herself, she would wait. But those questions kept ringing in her head and she couldn't silent them.

What if Ava finds the perfect nerd for her?

No. Ava would wait.

"God, why do I have to be the worst girlfriend ever? I just want to love her. I do love her but I don't know how to do it right." She sighed frustrated. "And now I'm talking to myself." Sara growled.

She received a text from her sister.

' _So? :3 you promised to tell me remember? :p_ '

' _It was fine. And she has a roomate silly, we didn't do anything ><'_

' _What happened? Are you guys okay?'_

Because of course Laurel would read between the lines. Sara didn't know whether she liked it or not. But really 'it was fine' is not a really good answer. Well, maybe right now she could use a sister. She didn't want to talk to Ava about how she felt but maybe it would be easier with Laurel.

' _I guess. I'll call you tonight?_ '

She didn't receive a text this time. Laurel's face appeared on her screen.

"Hey you." The big sister said with concern.

"Hey."

"Tell me what's wrong."

"Actually I don't know what's wrong. But it definitely has something to do with me. I can't help myself but think that maybe she'll find someone else. I mean her roomate is hot and she looks so happy with her new friends and-"

"Hey Sara, she loves you. I saw how she looks at you. This kind of love is rare and I think she's too smart to throw it away for what? A hot chick? Trust her."

"I trust her. I told you, I'm the problem. I don't trust myself to be enough for her. All the time I spent with her I had this jealousy inside me and I couldn't repress it no matter how hard I tried."

"Are you sure it was jealousy?" Laurel asked quietly.

"Whatever it was, it was messy and I don't know what to do. I don't want it to be like this you know. I want it to be like before, it was so easy. It was just us."

"Maybe you're just jealous of them because they can be with Ava everyday, nothing more. It'll be okay. You need to stop thinking about it. And she loves me too much, she'd stay with you anyway."

Sara could hear her grin through the phone. She laughed slightly.

"Seriously Sara, give you some time to adjust and it'll be fine I promise. It's a big change in your relationship. Just forget about whatever bothers you."

"Right."

"Good. But really you're taking too long sis."

"Perv. I told you she shares a room with another girl."

"Yeah well it makes it even hotter. The possibility of being caught is very exciting, you should try it sometimes."

"Laurel!" She blushed at the thought of the scenario. "Have you ever...?"

"Remember that time I brought my boyfriend to the cinema for his birthday?"

"You're kidding." But Sara knew she wasn't. She had no idea her sister was so bold.

"Don't worry I'll teach you."

"Ava will never agree to this." Sara laughed, trying to imagine how hard she would blush if she ever asked her to do something like this.

"True." The big sister laughed too. "I have to go. Just don't make such a big deal about it, okay?"

"Promise."

Even thought their conversation hadn't last long, Sara felt better. Laurel always knew how to talk to her and make things right. She didn't know for how long, but right now she was fine. She will have other weekends to make it up for Ava. And to prove to herself there was nothing wrong with her.

x

Ava was making progress in her research to find her father. Actually she had a name now. Of course it was not enough, there was more than one Colin Bishop. It was a start though. Plus she knew he was gay. Well, did it really matter? Would she go to see a Colin Bishop and say  _hey, are you gay? If you are I may be your daughter?_  But what would she say anyway? She had no clue. Maybe it would be more difficult to find out than her father himself. What if he didn't want her? She had tried not to hope that maybe a member of her family would love her. It could happen right? Spend some time with him, get to know him and finally know what it's like to have real bound with your family.   
She needed to stop to think about how great it could turn out in case he would just reject her. Actually she didn't know whether or not she could handle to be rejected twice. Sara's father was like a new parental figure to her. He was kind to her and treated her the same way he did with his two daughters. But still it would be different.

"Aves what are you doing?" Justine asked from the other side of the room and Ava put her computer aside and out of Justine's vision so quickly that she suspected something. "Ava Sharpe, are you watching porn?" She gasped playfully.

"Porn? Seriously? I don't watch porn." Ava said firmly. The idea was so absurd she didn't even blush. "I'm doing... stuff."

"Let me guess, school project."

Ava knew it was an answer she couldn't choose because Justine could easily check whether she was lying or not."

"You don't need to know. It's about Sara."

"You're such a bad liar. Tell me."

"Why would I do that?" She wanted to keep it a secret. She hadn't even told Sara. Sara would do anything to find him but Ava wasn't sure she was ready for the final step.

"Because I'm your roomate and we share everything; bedroom, bathroom, secrets..."

"That sounds wrong. Don't ever tell Sara such thing."

"What? Why? It's true and it's not like she doesn't know." Justine protested.

"She doesn't like to be reminded of it. Especially 'we share a bathroom'. She'll pout and I'll have to hug her and kiss her and tell her I love her." Ava grinned as she imagined Sara in her arms.

"Then why shouldn't I tell her we share everything since obviously you'd love to do all those things very much." She raised an eyebrow.

"I don't like to see her upset. Even if your statement is true, to her it may sounds like we're closer." Ava explained.

"Come on that's stupid she's your girlfriend and I'm your roomate. You have eyes only for her when she's here." Justine crossed her arms.

"I'm not going to apologize for that." Ava grinned before she started to pout. "I want her right here right nooooow."

"You say that because you were watching porn and got so horny you want to fuck your girlfriend now."

Okay now she was blushing. She wasn't use to this kind of language yet.

"I... no. I just miss her. And I wasn't watching porn." She argued but all Justine did was laughing. "And you know," She hesitated for a moment. "We've never had... we've never done it."

"Oh my God what?!You're kidding. I mean, okay it's not surprising from you, you're so shy you can't handle a conversation including sex without blushing. But I checked Sara Lance on Facebook. That's something else. I even asked myself how can you even match."

"What do you mean? But Ava wasn't really surprised. Every photos and videos about Sara on Facebook were taken before they started to hang out.

"You're the quiet studying girl, she's the outgoing, partying girl. Once she posted that she'd drunk so much the previous night she had absolutely no memories. She added she hoped she had not been too naughty."

"What?!"

"You didn't know? You guys are friends on Facebook right?"

"Yes but I've never checked her Facebook page. I know she doesn't post anything anymore."

"I guess we'll never know whether she's been naughty or not." She laughed and Ava rolled her eyes. "So tell me, since you are two very different people, how do you manage to match?"

"Stop talking like we're on Tinder. I helped her to go through some problems and we became closer and we discovered that, even if we are different, the most important thing is to be there for each other and like she says help each other to become a better version of ourselves."

Justine definitely wanted a relationship like that.

"Okay but seriously, what were you doing?"

"Fine I'll tell you. When the time comes. I need to... 'handle' the situation first."

"Fine." Justine replied but Ava knew very well she would look for answers on her own. Not that she will let her find anything. "How is she? I didn't see you talk to each other on Facetime for a while now."

"We've been busy." Ava shrugged. The truth is she had spent a lot of time trying to find her father lately. "But we text each other don't worry. And to answer your question she's fine. What about your lovelife?"

"Mine is not really interesting lately. Or ever. You know I don't do relationships. But I know something interesting." She said with a sly smile.

"Should I be scared?" Ava raised an eyebrow.

"Actually maybe." Justine sat on her bed next to her. "You know me, I don't like secrets so I became Sherlock Holmes for a while because I wanted to know who was Mary's girl crush."

"You found out on your own?" Was Justine that good at playing Sherlock Holmes? She would need to be careful.

"Of course I did."

"And I should be scared because?"

"Starts with an A ends with an A."

"You're kidding." Ava gasped. It was bad news, especially if Mary decided to make a move. Sara shouldn't know about this. She won't.

"Nope."

"But I didn't do anything that could... I'm already in a relationship and even if she tells me about her feelings it won't change mine."

"I don't think she will tell you. I think I shouldn't have told you because first it's not my place to say and second you may see her differently now. But you know me, I share everything with my roomate. Plus it doesn't really have to change since she has no intention to tell you what she feels."

"Justine you're an awesome roomate but such a horrible friend." Ava shook her head. But she had a point, it didn't have to be different if Mary had no expectations from her.

"Maybe." She winked. "You're such a heartbreaker Ava Sharpe."

"Shut up."

"Beware, you've never hidden your sexuality, maybe it has awakened some lesbian pulsions in a few girls." She joked. "Maybe you have a lot of girls at your feet and you don't even know. Not just lesbians or bi but also straight girls who want to give it a try."

"Seriously that's not funny."

But the roomate was laughing.

"How would Sara react?"

"She would kidnap me and take me away from here. But that's not going to happen." Right now she wouldn't mind, she wanted to see her so badly.

"Right." Justine nodded. But after a while she continued. "Imagine you did have a lot of girls at your feet, would you tell her?"

"There would be no point." Ava shrugged. "She wouldn't like it though. I think she would say she understands and she's not surprised. I would definitely be surprised."

"How mad would she be?"

"Justine," Ava sighed. "Why do you even ask this question? She would not be mad she would be insecure. If she does reach a certain level of insecurity I swear I'll hide her here and she'll live in this room with us." A part of her was still afraid of what Sara was capable of if she was heartbroken. "I will not tell her I love her, I will show her."

"She's lucky to have someone who loves her that much. I mean, you never break the rule but this one would get you expelled immediatly."

"She's so worth it." Ava grabbed her phone and looked at a picture Sara had sent her a few days ago. Sara was on the picture, making a face.

x

Sara was trying to read a book but couldn't focus. She wanted to call Ava, hear her voice and pretend nothing had changed, but she was probably busy. She always was in this new life. She had better things to do. Sara understood of course but still she felt like the second best. That's why she never called Ava. And that's why she kept thinking they would not make it to the end.

As long as Ava would pretend Sara was more of a girlfriend than a burden full of messy feelings, maybe Sara could pretend too. But something told her that maybe with time she would feel so guilty she would let Ava go.

Meanwhile Ava was trying to get some sleep but honestly she couldn't. It would be so much easier with Sara next to her. She's been thinking about her a lot lately, almost like an obsession, probably because they hadn't talked much lately. Sara must be too busy.

What she wouldn't give to just cuddle her and hear Sara whisper she loves her. That would be perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, they're not on the same page at all. Ava thinks their relationship couldn't get better but Sara thinks it's getting worse. Lack of communication is never a good thing.


End file.
